Hey, take your time.

Seriously, I'm a bit confused about the supposed spin we are to be buying these days in regards to President Bush and his upcoming "New Way Forward." On the one hand, it certainly sounds like he's taking advice from many people to help him shape new policy. But we also know the White House took great pains to discount the findings from the Iraq Study Group, which disagreed with the Bush Doctrine in the most vanilla of ways. So pretending he's going to dramatically change policy is probably folly.

But also...seriously, how long is he supposedly going to be studying this situation? Shouldn't he basically always be pretty much up to date with how things are going over there? The more people he needs to 'consult' with, the more it sounds like he's finally interested in the war as more than just something "over there" that he started.

Now, I know he's more invested than that - to what degree is probably debatable, but he's obviously not completely aloof here. But it is starting to come across that way, mostly because of how the White House is handling this. And there's just about no way his "New Way Forward" doesn't now come across as a huge disappointment, especially if it's not materially different than the current plan, or even just a rehash of the Escalation (or 'Surge' as the RNC would prefer).

This administration has always had terrible, irresponsible policy. But their politics were top-notch in how they stayed on message and got things done. Now it seems that's fallen to pieces as well.

Week 16 Wrapup

Well, Blogger doesn't seem to want to let me post many pictures these days. I'm not sure WHY...but I also can't do much about it. If I could, I'd post a picture of Chad Pennington and his rusty shoulders, or Wesley Walker or even Broadway Joe Namath himself, in honor of Seth Ruthen, whose namath2006 won this week with an impressive 13 correct picks. He actually tied with his good friend Todd Shriber - owner of Team T - but those tiebreakers are a beeyotch. Congrats, Seth.

Actually, Todd can easily be consoled by the fact he's currently tied for first in the overall standings going into the final weekend. That's right, it's a three-way tie between Todd, Mark Underwood's Blitzburgh and newcomer Saints -- forgive me, he's such a newcomer I can't remember his name. But those Saints are pretty heaven sent this season so I might have to learn it sooner than later. Tied for fourth and obviously still very much in the hunt is Todd's wife and infinitely better half Amy, whose Mommy and Me + 1 is tied with Kathy Doughty's All Skill. Kathy has been in this league as long as it's been around and it's nice to see her in contention.

As for me? Well, I thought I was making a final impressive showing this weekend but ended up falling short. But it doesn't mean I can't win Week 17, right?

It's been a great year of football, with some truly wacky happenings and a playoff season that should be very much fun to watch. Can't wait!

Happy Holidays to all, and I'll keep you posted on the final standings next week.

Stay classy, Dontrelle.

I really didn't think there was going to be anything funnier to report in baseball today than the fact that Ken Griffey Jr has already broken a bone and it's not even January 1.

But this report about Marlins pitcher (star?) Dontrelle Willis being picked up for a DUI after being..well, I'll just quote the story directly:

An officer saw the former NL rookie of the year stop his black Bentley in the South Beach neighborhood, get out of the car and urinate in the street. Police spokesman Bobby Hernandez said the officer noticed signs of intoxication as he approached Willis, who failed a field sobriety test.

Classy....

Oh my god, y'all

I just realized how excited I am about "24" starting up again.

Can't. Wait.

Nerd Alert

I've always taken a bit of a perverse pride in not liking science fiction. I then would always find myself making exceptions for this -- Star Wars, Total Recall, The Terminator, The Matrix... -- until I reluctantly had to admit I didn't hate the genre all that much. In fact, what I really disliked was simply Star Trek and that whole subculture, which has been mocked to the point that mocking it isn't funny anymore. (Though Galaxy Quest, Trekkies and Shatner's memorable rant on SNL are all still well worth watching.)

Similarly, as a child I never read much fantasy. I still don't much like it - and while I did finally read Lord of the Rings, I'm terribly glad I didn't as a kid - because I loved them so much I would have become the King of the Nerds.

This all occurred to me this morning as I not only heard a 'Best of' Adam Carolla show where they had a battle of the nerds (Patton Oswalt won a Master Lightsaber as the winner), but after I read this by Ursula LeGuin. LeGuin is one of those authors I know of and respect by her reputation, but probably would never read, because again, I don't much like fantasy or science fiction, especially in books. but her point here, in trying to explain why some fantasy and science fiction is so pervasive to children, is probably applicable in a lot of other environments:

It is the strict standard of emotional honesty that counts. This is where Oscar Wilde's fairy tales fail, and sometimes Hans Christian Andersen's. They only pretend to be for children. Disguising adult self-pity in sentimental cruelty is an unfortunately effective ploy. Andersen's tales fascinated and frightened me as a child; I read them only when I already felt morbid. But the Pan chapter of The Wind in the Willows I loved dearly even when I only half understood it, for its emotional exaltation is genuine. And in the last of the Mowgli tales in Kipling's Jungle Book, though the yearning pain of final exile from the kingdom of childhood was hardly comprehen sible to me, I felt it as a truth awaiting me, and wept for it. Children don't mind you talking over their heads - they're used to it, and used to figuring it out. Anything is better than being talked down to.

Word.

Dear Douchebag

This has to be one of the most patently offensive things I’ve seen in awhile. A congressman in Virginia named Virgil Goode (yes, that’s his real name) apparently received several letters from his constituents who were upset or worried that Keith Ellison, the first Muslim elected to Congress, is planning to be sworn in using the Koran, not the Bible.

First, it’s worth reiterating that this “scandal” was yet another fake issue brought forth by the right-wing, who can’t point to actual accomplishment and therefore need to bring the hate. Several members of Congress have been sworn in on books other than the Bible, and insisting that it should be part of the process is spitting in the face of the separation of church and state. (Sigh.)

In any event, Goode responded by sending them back a letter which included the following gem:

"The Muslim representative from Minnesota was elected by the voters of that district and if American citizens don't wake up and adopt the Virgil Goode position on immigration there will likely be many more Muslims elected to office and demanding the use of the Koran….I fear that in the next century we will have many more Muslims in the United States if we do not adopt the strict immigration policies that I believe are necessary to preserve the values and beliefs traditional to the United States of America and to prevent our resources from being swamped."

Um, moron? The key word there is “elected.” It’s the process by which you got your job, and one would hope (perhaps in vain) that you would respect that process. Be they Muslim, Jew, Atheist or wingbat, if people want to elect someone, they should. The people who state this are the same people who insisted (perhaps wrongly) that George Bush “won…get over it” so loudly in 2000.
Of course, I’m ignoring the incredibly racist, xenophobic tone here which is that Muslims shouldn’t be in our country, let alone our Congress. Whatever happened to Freedom of Religion? Why is this guy – who has stated that he stands by his letter – being excoriated for this?
Naturally, I have no problem with Goode having his job – if the good people of Virginia want to elect racists (hey, George Allen was their Senator for awhile), they should be allowed to. But freedom is a two-way street, Virgil.

Congrats to Pendo

It seems I'm getting later and later each week giving credit to the winner of the Pick 'Em. This week it goes to Tom Pendolino, owner of the Raging Buckeyes and as such, I'm honoring him by posting a picture of Heisman Trophy winner Troy Smith instead of an NFL player. That's mainly because Pendo is from Ohio, presumably a Browns fan, and there's no one on that roster either worth highlighting, or they are folks I really can't stand (see: Winslow Jr., Kellen or Edwards, Braylon. And no, I have no rational reason for not liking Braylon Edwards, I just don't.)

OK, now the people actually paying attention will notice that there is, in fact, no picture of Troy Smith posted here. That's because for some odd reason, Blogger won't let me post any photos. At all. Sometimes technology is a bee-yotch.

Anyhow, with just two more weeks to go, it's a neck and neck race down the stretch. Golden Boy Mark Underwood is currently in the lead with his Blitzburgh squad, but Kathy Doughty's All Skill and last year's winner Amy Shriber and her Mommy and Me +1 team are all still in the money. Just a few points separate them and several other teams, so the yearly race is still very much alive.

For stains like myself, it's a less pretty picture, but you never know. You. Never. Know. So make those picks, and let's see what happens.

Dr. Cox's Christmas Wishes

A few days ago I posted a video of Scrubs characters dubbing their voices over A Charlie Brown Christmas. I have now watched it a few times and it gets better each time. The more you know the characters from the show, the funnier it is who is doing the voices. For me, it's pretty much a tossup between Dr. Cox as Linus or Turk as Schroeder.

For what it's worth, while it's sappy - it also has a good message (pretty much the same one as the original Charlie Brown special.) Given that I'm Jewish, it might be odd to post a long thing about Christmas, but (perhaps obviously) this is really applicable to "the holiday season." Despite what my friend Rob would insist, Christmas is not a secular holiday (the big key to that is the word CHRIST in its name) but overall, you can make some analogies that are applicable to those of us who don't wear crosses or go to church.

I've posted his speech (as Linus) below:

Buckle up, Charlize. I’ll tell you what Christmas is all about.

(Lights, please.)

Here’s the deal, newbie. You can stuff your stockings with shiny little toys from now until you grow some testicles, but until that stocking is filled with friendship, loyalty, love and devotion, well it’s just plum empty. And No, you can’t purchase those things at Laura Ashley and No, you can’t win those things in the Redbook Giveaway Extravaganza, and Gee…I’m sorry if these aren’t things that you can wind up and watch spin for eight hours.

Let me make this exceptionally clear.

Christmas is about love. You can't live without other people's love. Not during Christmas. Not ever. So go spend that time with your friends and family. And if they laugh at you, laugh with them. And if they laugh at you again, hit them and go find some new friends. But for the love of God, Jesus, Mary and Joseph and his Technicolor Dream Coat, don't ever, ever forget this, newbie: You have to give love to get love. So start giving. Now.

As good a holiday thought as any.

NFL...Stay tuned.

What a bizarre weekend in football. So many odd things happened that I'm still sorting it out, though it's reasonably clear that in fantasy football, I'm now "out of the contest" so to speak. Just a trashing by all my opponents. Sigh.

It's pretty tight in the Pick 'Em league and while I managed a respectable 9 wins thus far I'm out of it...however, it's way up in the air who will take home this week's prize so stay tuned.

Wow...this is late

Very delinquent of me, congrats to Andy Cuthill – owner of the 1 2turn2 for last week’s win. It seems like every week I’m sending a check to someone in the Cuthill clan, but hey – that’s part of the game. In Andy's honor, I'm posting a picture here of his all-time favorite player, the quarterback he insists re-invented the game and deserves his own hall in the Hall of Fame. In fact, I believe he stated they should rename it the Hall of Fouts.

OK, he said none of that and talks about Dan Fouts just to bother me, but my point is still valid.

The overall standings are shaping up but of course everyone is still in the weekly race.

This week of course has another Thursday game – and also Saturday night! Basically, at this point football is on more days than it isn’t. (Sure, just by one – 4 to 3 – but go with me here.) This is, as far as I’m willing to admit, a life long dream of mine. It’s football almost all the time! As our friend Barmak would say, “YEAHBABYYEAH!”

Congrats, AC and sorry for the snub. Get your picks in now for next week!

Scrubs Christmas

I just started watching Scrubs, and I have to say it's really well worth watching. Yes, I'm late to the game but better late than never. Plus, now I have years of reruns to let TiVo grab for me. And this -- this is pretty funny even if you don't know the show.

YOU! REEBAY!

One of my favorite memories about going to watch the Giants in the mid-1980's was the way the crowd absolutely LOVED Jose Uribe, the light-hitting but sweet-fielding shortstop (a virtual relic of the past these days) with possibly one of the most fun names to say in history. Uribe was never much of an offensive powerhouse, but he played hard and with a joy that was very evident from all who watched him.

I remember sitting at the Stick on a summer night - which meant it was freezing there, with huge gusts of icy wind - with half of the stadium screaming "YOU!" and the other half responding "REEBAY!" everytime Jose got up to the plate.

Jose Uribe was killed in a car accident in the Dominican Republic this morning, dying at the tragically young age of 47. That's just incredibly depressing, and certainly not the bright and cheery sentiment I'd normally want to start my Friday with. (Yes, that's right - it's apparently all about me. God, I'm a dick.) Anyhow, quite a bit of sadness for the Uribe family (including his son Juan who plays for the White Sox) and anyone who remembers the Humm Baby years with as much fondness as I do.

The Ainbow-Ray Unnection-Kay

Possibly the funniest moment in TV this year.

Huffington on Hillary

As part of the City Arts & Lecture series, we saw Arianna Huffington speak a few months ago, and I was as impressed by her as anyone else we saw this year. (Though I'm going to give Tony Bourdain the top nod.) The thing you have to like about Huffington is that she is absolutely unafraid to speak her mind, sort of like Gore Vidal (who we also saw talk.)

And todays post at her blog about Hillary Clinton's presidential aspirations is a gem. A few excerpts:

With Democrats on the rise, her perfect plan seemed to be working out perfectly.

And then suddenly, unexpectedly, came a rumbling in the distance. A rumbling caused by a boy named Barack. Indications are that before the year is out, Barack will officially be in.

All at once, a surge of enthusiasm and support for the boy named Barack is threatening to ruin all of the girl named Hillary's perfect plans -- like sand castles being washed away by a rising tide.

So, my little ones, what is the lesson to be learned from this tale?

That you might as well speak your mind and do what is in your heart because you never know what waits around the corner -- what unforeseen forces are headed your way.

And that's really why people like Obama - he seems, at least at this point, to say what he means - regardless of whether everyone over at Daily Kos likes it, regardless of what his advisors are possibly telling him. Hillary, on the other hand, couldn't be more transparent - coming out against violent video games is positively Lieberman-esque. And doing any sort of canoodleing with Rick Santorum is always inexcusable. I'm not in any way counting out Hilary's hopes in 2008, but I'm glad it's no longer even close to a slam-dunk that she'll win the nomination. Hope to see that tide continue to turn.

Week 13: Wrapping it up

Another interesting week in the NFL, to say the least. The Titans defeated the Colts, which makes it hard to ignore the fact that Tennessee has five wins already. (It's also one of the early signs of the holiday season, the look Peyton Manning has on his face here - that's the look of, "But...I thought WE were supposed to win!"Jeff Fisher, who apparently was in danger of losing his job despite being perhaps the best coach in the NFL, is apparently secure these days. And he’ll get a few votes for Coach of the Year for getting at least those five wins out of an exceptionally young and sporadically talented team.

But who actually wins Coach of the Year – Jets coachErik Mangini or Sean Payton from the Saints? The Saints are probably the best story of the year, and I’d expect Payton to get the nod. But at this point, there’s at least a capable argument for Mangini. The Jets have been a terrible team for a long time, and rarely a team that’s honestly gone into a season with serious expectations of a playoff berth. This season, it is true that they’ve benefited from a pathetically soft schedule, but they earned that by being bad themselves. They won four games last year. Mangini should earn plenty of votes for Coach of the Year.

The Saints, of course, only won three games last season. But it’s clear that they’ve always had talent. Losing Aaron Brooks and signing MVP Candidate Drew Brees are decisions he would have had input on but not final say as he’s not the GM. But the way he’s handled Reggie Bush and Deuce McAllister is exceptionally impressive. And having the stones to shuttle off Donte Stallworth and rely on a seventh round draft pick from Hofstra (that’s Marques Colston who should win Rookie of the Year) at wideout is commendable. So I have no problem with Payton as Coach of the Year.

Wow, that was a long time to talk about that topic, especially since there are four whole games left in the year. And yet it feels like things are already getting settled. Look at the playoff picture -- as Andy Cuthill pointed out to me two weeks ago, pretty much all the divisions are set. Failing a major collapse, your division winners are going to be New England, Baltimore, Indy, San Diego in the AFC. And the NFC looks like Dallas, Chicago, New Orleans, and Seattle.

Wild cards are a mathematically equation I’m not particularly interested in doing just yet, but I figure that will sort itself out soon enough. Our heroes – the San Francisco 49ers, of course – are still too young and talent-thin, but Mike Nolan should also get some props for how he’s turning this team around.

And in the Pick ‘Em, it’s still wide open. Look at the home page at the second column, the Group Pts, and you will see 25 teams within ten points of the lead. Two teams whose names shall go unmentioned finished just out of the money in Week 12 and at the bottom of this weeks’ standings. (Um, which means I just pointed out who they are, indirectly.)

This week’s winner is longtime Pick ‘Em player and winner Erik Lindemann who sealed up the victory before Monday night’s game even kicked off, getting 13 of the first 15 games correct. That’s astounding, and were I wearing a hat, I’d tip it in Erik’s general direction.

Remember that I’ve now set the site so that you can make your picks anytime up until five minutes before each game. That means, of course, that for games not started, you won’t be able to see who everyone else has taken until after those games have begun. For those who check their computers several times on a Sunday afternoon, this might apply.

I suppose I couldn’t finish this up without mentioning Reggie Bush and his four TDs against the Niners. Yes, it was fantastic and that guy – in case you hadn’t heard – is very, very fast. And the Saints are probably no worse than the third best team in the NFC. (Begrudgingly, I have to rank the Cowboys #2, just below the Bears. God, I hate the Cowboys.)

Bush and Vince Young are going to give Marques Colston a run for his money at Rookie of the Year, for that matter.

The big story around the league was about how teams in contention aren’t afraid to make changes at quarterback, citing Tony Romo taking Drew Bledsoe’s job, and Jay Cutler taking over for Jake Plummer. (By the way, I drafted Bledsoe and Plummer as my QBs in fantasy football. Sigh.) But after Sunday night, is it still looking so smart to bench Jake? I mean, the Broncos were winning with the Snake. In spite of him, I should suppose. And Cutler looked as bad as, say, Rex Grossman. (Thirty-six yards, Rex? And 3 INT? Not good, my friend. Not good.)

OK, that’s enough for now. Congrats to Erik, and remember – once again, there’s a Thursday night game, so get those picks in!

And just as quickly...

I think this is possibly an even FUNNIER, possibly just as serious, and definitely one of the most embarassing things I've ever seen.



As Bill Simmons would say, this is setting the standard for the Unintentional Comedy Hall of Fame.

Tom Brady

This is either the funniest or most inappropriate video I've seen in a while.



I am thinking it's probably both. I'd quote some of the choicer lines but frankly, it's better to hear it...er, straight.