Quick Draft Afterthoughts

Well, I say goddamn. The Monster of Heal 2007 Draft is now in the books, and I have to say I'm very nervous...

Why?

Because I LOVE my team. They're not perfect, and indeed my team contains at least two players I actively DISLIKE, but I think it comprises a team with a huge amount of potential that should be both competitive and fun to watch. For those that care, this is a team where most teams start 2 QB (the flex can be at any position), 2 RB, 3 WR, K, D.

Here is The Boy With Jim Zorn In His Side:

01.06 Joseph Addai Ind/6
02.05 Carson Palmer Cin/5
03.06 Cedric Benson Chi/9
04.05 Roy Williams Det/6
05.06 Donald Driver GB/7
06.05 Marshawn Lynch Buf/6
07.06 Deion Branch Sea/8
08.05 DeShaun Foster Car/7
09.06 Santana Moss Was/4
10.05 J.P. Losman Buf/6
11.06 Jerricho Cotchery NYJ/10
12.05 Chad Pennington NYJ/10
13.06 Warrick Dunn Atl/8
14.05 Brandon Marshall Den/6
15.06 Philadelphia Phi/5
16.05 Jason Hanson Det/6


Yeah, those players in red are guys I hate, but they were by far the best players available at the time. If Ced Ben busts, I definitely have issues at RB, but I think my WR depth is sick, Carson Palmer and Losman (who almost made the hate list, but was very good value where I took him in our league) are a great QB pair, and Pennington only has to last to Week 6 for the byes before he loses his job. I was thrilled to get not only Cotchery but Marshall as young WRs, and my starters of Roy Williams, Driver and Branch (or Moss) is way deep at that position.

Very happy, which...scares me.

45 Minutes To Hell

Actually, hopefully not so much hell as one of the best days/nights of the year - the fantasy football draft. With the 6th pick in a ten-team league, I'm expecting either Joseph Addai or Shaun Alexander to be the best RB available (though I know many who'd argue that Travis Henry, Willie Parker or even Brian Westbrook would unseat Shaun. I just don't trust those guys and aside from last year when he killed me, Shaun has been money.)

And yes, for what it's worth, I know Cowher is out of the league. Just love that ridiculous snarl.

In a prior post, I opened the floor for suggestions for my team...good ones, for sure, came as a part of that.

But the best one came from Rozy, who enjoyed my suggestion of The Jim Zorn Ultimatum, but instead thought of this gem:

The Boy With Jim Zorn In His Side

Oh, how I love this. And it will be the first team name based on a song, having covered movies and books previously. King of All Media, I am.

Other contenders:

• The Importance of Being Ernest Wilford


• Of Mike Tice And Men


• Cade McNown And His Band of Renown (thanks, CDE)


• It's Not Easy Being Griese

I must say, that last one I thought of this morning and I still like it, but I'm going with the ode to the Smiths song. Wish me luck.

Morning Music

Last night, on the David Letterman show, Feist performed, and was backed up by a slew of musicians (mostly singing) who I also like - folks from The National, The New Pornographers, Broken Social Scene (of which Feist is part of), Grizzly Bear,and a band called Mates of State which I don't know. It's a great song, and as good as any other way to start your morning.

Heartless Bastards

No, not talking about the Bush administration...though the fact that Abu Gonzalez resigned today makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and wishing it was 2001 and he was resigning then. When someone makes you long for the honesty and integrity of John Freakin Ashcroft, he is failing on a widespread level.

No, these Heartless Bastards I'm talking about are one of the bands I've been particularly obsessed with of late. A true rock band, they are led by Erika Wennerstrom, who has a voice like Janis Joplin but in a non-annoying way. (Joplin is on a list with Prince and Bob Dylan as people I know are wholly influential and important and who I never, ever want to listen to. Dylan is the one who I make some exceptions for. If you cared.)

Anyhow, enjoy these tunes by a serious slamming band that should be exploding any day now, if they haven't yet...The Heartless Bastards.

First, a video for their song "All This Time" ...



And a live version of "Grey"

Real Jenius

So, Jen is toast.

I’m referring, of course, to Big Brother 8 where the memorable Jen Johnson got kicked out after being “back-doored” by Daniele. For folks (like contestant Amber) who don’t know the meaning of that term in the game, it means that Daniele nominated two other folks – Amber and Jameka – then won the Veto power herself. Normally, you’d think that since Daniele is the one who put them up on the block, she’d leave well enough alone. But instead, she made a deal with Amber (more on this later), and replaced Amber with Jen, who was voted out unanimously, 6-0.

Jen threw a fit in her own weird, controlled way…first destroying cartons of Dick’s cigarettes (which it’s not clear whether he understands, as he assumed she’d merely hid them in the footage we saw), then breaking her agreement to eat nothing but Slop and eating “regular” food. (It should be noted at this point that her guilty pleasures were a Turkey Burger, apple and cottage cheese. Somehow I think if it were me, I would have gone a little less of a healthy route.) As such, she became the first player in BB history to get assessed a penalty vote, one that didn’t matter (which she understood, though her competitive spirit took a drubbing with that display.)

Jen mystified me all season because she has an exterior, almost sociopathic demeanor of “Nothing bothers me, and I don’t even understand why it should” that is amusing in the way it infuriates those trying to hurt her feelings. (Hi, Dick!) But she’s definitely detached in a sort of weird way that either means she’s able to compartmentalize in a way that most folks can’t, or she’s just fucking crazy.

In any case, Amber would have gone home were the deal not made with Daniele. In one of the funnier sequences of the year, Amber first was counseled by Jameka (who not only was up on the block with her, but her partner in Sanctimonious Religion) not to give up too much to Daniele…then she walked in and Daniele offered that, if she took Amber off the block, she’d want Amber to agree that if she won Head of Household next week, that she wouldn’t nominate Daniele.

Amber quickly agreed. And then…without provocation, she stated that the deal was good for the rest of the show until she won HoH. That is, if she doesn’t win for a month, she still won’t put Daniele up on the block. Nor would she vote for her to be evicted. And I’m pretty sure she also signed over the pink slips of her car. It was astonishing how much she threw out there for free, to the point that 20-year old Daniele couldn’t help herself from grinning so widely it was almost a full on laugh.

God, Amber is just so dumb.

In any case, Jessica managed to win HoH now, which is interesting, and has her join Daniele as the only two-time HoH. In all likelihood, she’ll keep the foursome (Dick, Daniele, Eric and her) together for one more week, and put Amber and Jameka right back up on the block, with Zach as the replacement if necessary. If that happens, I’d expect her and Eric to go after Daniele (and vice-versa) sooner than the final four, since that’s what this game is all about.

It’s been a long but interesting season on the show, and I expect it will be very good for the next month or so as it wraps up. Can’t wait!

Aisha Tyler

As noted, over here at Greebs Headquarters, the morning routine generally involves listening to The Adam Carolla Show, generally on the commute to work, but also sometimes via podcast as well.

This morning, they had Aisha Tyler on the air, who I only think I've ever seen act in a bad rerun of Friends. But...it's possible that, as they suggested on the show, she is seemingly a prototype for "the ideal girlfriend."

(In a dead heat tie with my wife, of course.)

Think it -- she's smart (graduated from Princeton), she's funny (as in genuinely funny, and a standup comedian), a competent and even possibly talented actress, and then, a few more details I didn't know:

• She's a huge X-Box fan, and claimed it's pretty much what she and her husband do in their free time.


• She has, in the past, brewed her own beer, mainly because it was a cheaper means to have a copious amount of beer around.


• She's a huge sports fan.

Oh, and...she looks like this:





Something to think about.

Now That's A Boxscore

I was thinking this morning about the Angels-Yankees game from yesterday, where the Halos scored 18 runs against the Yanks. But today, the Rangers took the cake. Two different guys had seven RBIs and the Rangers scored THIRTY runs in a beatdown of the Orioles. That's just insane in the membrane, insane in the brain.

Here is the box score. Bear in mind the game was still in the ninth inning at this point:



I say goddamn!

Internet Commenters Meeting

Courtesy of CollegeHumor.com, this made me laugh OUT LOUD several times.

It's definitely not safe for work - some language is pretty bold, so turn down your volume, or better yet, put on some headphones if you are watching it at work:



First!

Hulk Angry...Hulk Crush

This is the kind of story that makes me much angrier than it should:

Vick scandal latest to divide sports fans

... During the U.S. summer, the baseball season is in full swing while football and basketball teams trade and draft players ahead of their first games.

Each of those sports, however, has been overshadowed by controversies that have raised questions about the price of success.

August 7 will go down as the night Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants slugged the 756th home run of his baseball career, breaking a record held by Hank Aaron for 33 years.

Bonds's achievement was compromised by suspicion that he may not have spoken truthfully when denying that he used steroids to boost his career, according to many fans.

One week later, former National Basketball Association referee Tim Donaghy pleaded guilty to two felony charges and admitted to providing tips on games he officiated to professional gamblers.

Donaghy, 40, faces a maximum prison sentence of 25 years but stands to be sentenced to less time as part of a plea deal with federal prosecutors.

Vick had initially denied involvement in pit bull fights that an indictment said took place on his property in Virginia. He then accepted the deal after associates agreed to cooperate with prosecutors under their own plea deals. ....

I mean...can we have some goddamned perspective here? Let's see...one of these things is not like the other, isn't it? Donaghy broke about a gazillion laws. Vick did as well. Barry Bonds? Nope. There's no one even suggesting - at least in a public forum - that Bonds used steroids after Useless Commissioner Selig "woke up" to the problem of steroids in 2002 or so.

I've been over this so many tmes it's entirely tired, but...is Bonds a good guy? No. Is he a dog killer? Is he fixing games? Is he wrapped up in a gambling scandal?

NO. NO. NO! A THOUSAND TIMES NO!

Get that?

Look, hate the guy all you want...but it does nobody any good to lump him in with these CRIMINALS.

The Fall of Ookie

So, I suppose it’s only fair that I chime in on the whole Michael Vick debacle. There’s not much to say beside the guy is a scumbag, and every athlete who rose to defend him, or made fun of dogfighting, or doesn’t understand how awful what Vick did is a pretty sorry excuse for a person himself.

Because let’s be clear…Vick is stone cold guilty. Accepting a plea bargain after three of your supposed friends and loads of other people testify against you is pretty much the seal of that deal. But here’s what strikes me…before those guys sung like canaries, Vick was on the radio and elsewhere saying that he was innocent of these charges, and that he’d be cleared of things soon enough. That tells me a few things:

• Vick knew what he was doing was pretty awful, otherwise he wouldn’t have denied the charges.


• Vick also didn’t CARE that it was wrong, and also didn’t think he’d possibly get in trouble for this.


• The only reason he accepted the plea bargain is to give himself ANY chance of ever, ever playing in the NFL again.

I started this post thinking I’d be writing something like, “Michael Ookie Vick will never, ever play in the NFL again.”

But that’s crazy, because he’s only 27 years old, and obviously has a world of talent. That’s of course NOT the same thing as saying he’s a great NFL quarterback, because he’s never been that. He’s thrown 20 TD in a season once, and at some point, it’s hard to not wonder why he’s running for so many goddamn yards. But will he be banned for ever? Probably not. It’s a league where even my 49ers signed Lawrence Phillips long after some pretty bad charges were filed against him. Tons of guys populate the league with records for a litany of things most of us find distasteful. In two-plus years, Vick will probably start coming back…but again, he’ll never be good.

I’m very happy that he’s getting his due, and even happier that his seeming indifference to penalties for these atrocious acts is getting its comeuppance. It’s yet another example of athletes being coddled for so long that they simply decide the law doesn’t apply to them.

Sorry, Ookie. You ain’t above the law.

Estate of the Day

I'm a bit fascinated by a site called Luxist, which features a lot of real estate and other luxury items. I tend to only be interested in one feature called "Estate of the Day" and the homes they feature that I can only dream of.

Here are a few photos from some of these babies, led off by a Tuscan estate that costs a cool $87 million. Yep, that's right.




This is a Grand Cayman estate that isn't quite my taste, but I think I'd be willing to settle for it, for a cool $7.5 million.



Here's another more typical "estate" that would be even more attractive if it weren't owned by a raging anti-Semite.







No, the house isn't owned by Amber from Big Brother 8, a solid anti-Semite on her own. It's owned (or at least was when it was listed) by Mel Gibson.

I can't say I like that much about Mel besides some of his early movies, but I must say he's got nice taste in real estate.

Let's Return to the Big Brother Household

So, it’s been awhile since I’ve really posted, but work seems to be clearing up a little. Last week…sucked. Without going into too much detail, let’s just say at the end of the work week, I’d put in more hours than I normally do in almost two weeks, both of my arms were bruised from an unsuccessful blood donation, and my cell phone had been stolen.

Good times.

But, all is well.

The same can be said for this season of Big Brother 8, a show I find fascinating even if it’s just simply on too much. Really, CBS? Three nights a week? How is it possible that they can’t consolidate Sunday and Tuesday’s show into one?

In any event, the shit is going down in the Big Brother House. It’s a season where I don’t really like anyone – like, really, ANYONE – but at the same time I think the show is great. Jessica, in particular, seems to understand the game fairly well – but also talks in the dumbest, most annoying voice possible, and gets played seriously hard by folks like Jen and Jameka, even when they aren’t necessarily trying to twist her up. It’s one of the best parts of the show – spend enough time in one house with no access to the outside world, and you over analyze EVERYTHING. Jessica spun out a week ago from a casual and nonsensical comment from Jen, then seemed to believe Jameka when all Jameka was doing was acting confused about the lack of information Jessica and Eric withheld from her.

Then, there’s the editing, which is also pitch perfect. This show has two supposedly devout Christians, Amber and Jameka. They both pray out loud, and apparently quite often. It never occurs without hearing church organ music. Amber was also featured this Sunday in a compilation that lasted quite awhile, where she did nothing but ask people for the definitions of things. Such as, “What’s outing?” “What's integrity?" "What's backdoor mean?"

Note that none of this was said with even a shred of irony.

I’m seriously inclined to make fun of Amber, a woman who described herself as the mother of two, only to later state (without shame) that one of her children was her dog, who she loved exactly as much as her child. She’s flat out dumb, and apparently also a bigot.

But two nights ago on CBS' overnight feed on Showtime Networks, a player named Amber Siyavus Tomcavage stirred things up. The 27-year-old Las Vegas cocktail waitress must have forgotten that the cameras were on when she — under her breath — had a long discourse with housemate Jameka about "the Jews." Her mother must be so proud.

The essence of Amber's complaint? That Jews she has met are "bad" people, and you could tell them by either their noses or their names.

Jameka, who professes to be a Christian, made no reaction to Amber's declaration. None of the footage has been shown on CBS' broadcast so far, but it's all over the Internet.
Amber's exact statement: "The majority of people I know from New York are Jewish, and the majority of Jewish people I know, my gosh, so many are so selfish. So weird. Even my sister always tells me, she's like my sister, and my mom will meet someone and I'll be like, 'I don't like that person. That person doesn't seem like a very good person to me,' and my mom and sister are like, 'You know why?' Why? 'They're Jewish.' How do you know? 'Amber you can tell by their last name, you can tell by their nose.' I'm like, 'Really?'"

Lovely. What a mother she’ll be.

As it stands now, Amber and Jameka are on the block, and both have stated that God has a plan. Amber stated that God personally told her that she’ll win POV, and that both her and Jameka will be in the final two. Impressive level of detail she got from God’s mouth to her ears, no?

What’s really funny about the show is that Jen is still there. Easily one of the more loathsome personalities on the show to start, she seems to have simply gotten quiet over the last few weeks, not offending anyone and somehow becoming a quiet ally of Daniele and Dick, her two biggest enemies to begin the show.

So that’s Amber and Jameka, neither who I can stand. (Jameka is literally insane with her proselytizing, Amber is perhaps the biggest mess to ever be on this show, which is quite a coup. Jen is actually sort of amusing to me at this point, but I’m certainly not rooting for her, or for Zach who seems to be personality-free. Evil Dick is very entertaining and while he’s been brutal in his rants, I tend to agree with him. But I also believe with Kail, who said that no one can dish that out, day after day, without it being part of his natural personality. And that’s not very cool. Daniele is just a kid it’s hard to fault her for being woefully inconsistent with her feelings of what is fair and what isn’t. I wouldn’t be crushed if she won, nor would I if Dick won, but again…not exactly rooting for them to do so.

Eric, America’s Player, is just annoying in so many ways. The Mohawk is thankfully gone, but – and some of it is due to the silly America’s Player thing overall – he’s just so ploying and cheesy. He seems like a nice enough guy but also incredibly insincere. I’d be happy if he wins it just because it would be impressive to get over the obstacle of not having any say in your votes.



So…that leaves Jessica who also falls into that category of “Wouldn’t be crushed if she won.” Never thought I’d say that about that voice, but hey…why not?
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I’d love to see the show go to two episodes a week, and find a way to do the elimination without Julie Chen, or at least on tape since she manages to never get through a single episode without at least one screw up. But overall, Big Brother is having itself quite a fine season, despite one of the weirdest casts in years.

Gentlemen

Courtesy of the 120 Minutes Blog (what a freaking great idea), here is one of the better, if slightly NSFW, videos of all time:

Afghan Whigs: Gentlemen

I Want A Keepon

Keepon is the name of this little dancing robot, and while I'm sure it will become tired, like the dancing baby of Ally McBeal, Billy Bass and others, right now...I want one.

Bourdain's Blog

I’ve been so swamped at work and even at home that I’ve had little time to post anything lately.

I know, you’ve been crying yourself to sleep over it.

But the big news here is -- Anthony Bourdain has a blog.

OK, it’s not so much a blog of his own as a commentary on each episode of Top Chef. Which, since I’m fairly addicted to both Bourdain’s writing and that show, is pretty much a dream come true.

The blog is here. Go check it out...but before you do, here are some choice snippets.

Man, Tony B rocks the hizzouse:


On Howie, after the young, pretty but sort of meek Sara N got sent home:

After finding out she'd have to pack her knives, Sara N. suggested she might have been "too nice" for the competition. Maybe so. Howie, on the other hand, suggests that he might well be an asshole and that he doesn't apologize for that. I'd suggest he reexamine his position here. It might be okay to be a buttwad in the cause of victory, but it's not okay to be a buttwad when what you've got to offer Miami is a bogus Cuban and bad leadership.

On Rocco DiSpirito:

Concerning Rocco DiSpirito's typically gracious and good humored response on this site to my torrent of abuse: It is natural, as some have suggested, to assume that I'm jealous of Rocco. In fact, I am. I'm jealous of Rocco's talent in the kitchen. He had an extraordinary proficiency with food -- one most cooks would cheerfully have sawn off a finger or an arm to replicate -- and an ability to "envision" (and then execute) truly delicious and original creations. That he chose to turn his back on this rare and unique gift does indeed stick in my craw.

Watching Rocco's trajectory in the cause of the bitch-goddess fame is like watching a young Eric Clapton put aside his guitar for a career as a mink rancher. You just want to scream, "Play, damn you! PLAY!!" (Or in Rocco's case, "Cook! Cook!!"). Two years cooking in his own 40-seat restaurant, in even a crummy neighborhood of NYC, and Rocco would shut snarkologists like me up forever -- and restore a "gravitas" to his reputation he should never have lost. I'd be the first guy trying to scrounge a reservation, and -- if he offered anything like the food I had at Union Pacific -- the first to loudly sing his praises.

On Dale’s decision this week to use scented vanilla candles in the “Restaurant Wars:”

In perhaps the single worst (and truly epic) decision of three seasons of “Top Chef”, Dale figured that the customers of his start-up restaurant don't actually want to taste or smell their food, they want their clothes and every pore and follicle of their bodies to be permeated with the unholy stench of vanilla candles. They want to leave the restaurant smelling like a whorehouse or a peep show.

And, on Howie once again from this week’s episode:

Of course, observant viewers and horrified Italians could CLEARLY see that Howie's risotto was sitting up like day old spackle. And while dumping on Howie, I should point out that anytime you see a cook loading up something as potentially simple and beautiful as risotto with too many "money" ingredients like black truffles AND foie gras AND wild mushrooms, you're seeing an insecure cook, temporarily bereft of ideas. Howie's dish was unimaginative (he's done risotto before), over-killed with the garnishes (pick one, numbnuts), completely inappropriate to the climate, location, season and the progression of the rest of the meal. It was also badly executed. His "defense" of eating heavy braised and stewed dishes out of season (cause he likes to) --particularly considering WHO he was talking to -- bordered on the unhinged.

Checkity check it out.

And...we're back!

After a week long vacation, the blog is back. And while there are PLENTY of things worth talking about (Karl Rove running like a scared puppy, Big Brother 8, FOOTBALL), right now all I have for you is the latest video from The Go Team!



Enjoy.

Games, Jake. Silly torturous games.

Courtesy of the folks over at Brahsome, this video is so redonkulous I had to post here for future reference. Not only is it perhaps the nastiest fall I've ever sen, but Jake Brown GETS UP AND WALKS AWAY.


Check the video replay (which thankfully they wait to show until he's up and walking around)...and you see both his shoes fly off. How both of his legs aren't shattered (let alone his back, spine, neck, brain) is beyond me.

Props to Jake for his crazy skills and future job as Plastic Man.

Oh, come ON.

ESPN's Page 2 is doing something I generally love - making silly lists, filled with predictions.

This one is guessing which active NFL players will make the Hall of Fame. Some obvious names start the list - Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Jonathan Ogedn, Ray Lewis... and then, there is this entry:

21. Shawne Merriman

Merriman possesses an unparalleled combination of size and speed, evoking memories of a young Lawrence Taylor. But in addition to the risk of injury, which any player faces, there is also the specter of last season's four-game steroid suspension. Will he test positive for performance enhancers again and have his reputation permanently tarnished? Or will he test clean from now on and have the episode blow over like with Julius Peppers in 2002? With the prospect of playing against the Raiders twice a season for the rest of his career, it's not difficult to imagine Merriman ranking among the career sacks leaders someday.

Bold and italics mine. Um...aren't we being a bit premature here? The dude has played for TWO YEARS, one of which - as noted - he got busted for roids. The list of guys who looked like surefire Hallof Famers at that point in their career is pretty damn long. The odds of Merriman either getting hurt or in more trouble with the law is significantly higher than his chances of being the alltime sacks leader.

I started this post before I'd read the whole article, and was going to make a joke about, hey...why not put Reggie Bush on this list?

Well...sigh.

34. Reggie Bush

Reggie Bush isn't going to barge his way to NFL stardom as a bruising, between-the-tackles bully in the Earl Campbell mold. That's no secret. But Bush's agility, speed and soft hands make him one of the most explosive players in the league. His 88 receptions last season are the third-most by a rookie in NFL history and the most ever by a rookie running back. Teamed with an offensive core of Drew Brees, Marques Colston and Deuce McAllister in New Orleans, it's not difficult to imagine Bush getting the chance to play for a Super Bowl ring in the near future.

Wait...he had the THIRD most receptions as a rookie...ever? He might PLAY for a Super Bowl ring sometime in the future? Well, start working on his Canton bust now, silly!

I like Reggie Bush as a football player, and as a fantasy football player. But he's played one year in the league. If you can't find 50 active players who have a more sizable tenure...MAKE THE LIST SHORTER.

Morons.

Reality Roundup

Hey, it’s been awhile, no? So, here’s the skinny – a few cooking shows still going on, with Hell’s Kitchen and Top Chef. For the former, it continues to be a disappointment, in that wholly unqualified people comprise the cast…with the possible exception of Clay, every contestant on Top Chef would whoop every contestant on Hell’s Kitchen. And that’s just unfortunate, because it begs the question of what, exactly Gordon Ramsey is trying to prove with his show. It’s not very interesting, overall – and yet, I watch.

The final has come down to Rock – a hotheaded but talented chef who clearly had the most cooking chops of any contestant from Day One – and Bonnie, a very cute, perky nanny and personal chef – who admitted during this last episode that she’s not sure she even wants to win. (Hey, good times!) It seems a no-brainer that Rock will win, but I guess I’ve been surprised before.

On Top Chef, however, things are just really getting started. (And not just because Padma Lakshmi is so hot.)

If you wonder whether it’s a true competition or not, understand that the last two chefs to get booted are Executive Chefs at, respectively, Jean-Georges and Café Des Artistes, two serious New York city restaurants. The contest was for two-chef teams to create a frozen dinner (in a none too subtle nod to guest judge Rocco DiSpirito, who looked and acted just as ridiculous as he did in his own reality show, The Restaurant, and has similar product for sale.) Only CJ (the giant) and Tre figured out that each item needed to be frozen separately. Otherwise, the product (they were all told to make a dinner honoring the Mediterranean) basically blended in together and created some pretty unpleasant tastes. Dale (mohawk guy) and Casey (who looks too much like Jennifer Aniston, if that’s possible) came in second, which is nice to see as Casey had won the Quickfire and still obviously worked really hard at this challenge. The losing teams were Howie (bald, angry) and Sarah (who…has shown nothing besides an odd accent, which says something about her presence) and Hung (spastic Vietnamese kid) and Joey (New York Italian guy). Hung had actually figured out the separate freezing thing, but failed to hammer this home with Joey – and it’s clear that it’s a failure on both of them for this. Hung had to stop what Joey was doing (pouring full meals into separate containers), and Joey had to listen. Apparently, the judges decided that even if they had done the correct freezing procedure. I mean, that HAS to be the case, because otherwise Sarah had to go home. She’s done nothing, though it’s also worth noting that Howie was way out of line with his insistence that she belittled him and had tons of attitude. Howie has what we would call an anger management issue.

Anyhow, Joey is gone – and he sobbed and sobbed like a little child…which was actually somehow endearing. The guy wore his emotions on his sleeve and God bless him for him, yes? Sure. (But…I also think he’s probably not thrilled with the fact that he did that on national TV.) I will say this - long before the judging came down, he called Rocco DiSpirito an asshole on national TV. And for that, especially considering they've probably crossed paths before in NYC, is pretty awesome.

And then we’re at Big Brother 8. Oh, BB8, you rock the bells. Last week, Dustin won Head of Household, and nominated Jen and Kail. (I should point out right now that I have been getting a lot of search engine traffic for “big brother jen nude” and a lot of variations on that. Trust me, I’d love to see those photos but they don’t seem to exist.)

Dustin – who has admitted that he wasn’t much of a fan of this show before being recruited (as the enemy of Joe, since booted from the house) – made a classic blunder in the Veto competition. It was a basic Jeopardy style quiz, with the twist that contestants could spend their points (and therefore have less of a chance of winning) for temptations. Such as a trip for two to Barbados, or $5000 in cash.

Dustin took both.

Suffice it to say, the house was furious with him – because it allowed Jen to get taken off the block once Jameka won. (I’d go into Jameka’s assertion that she did this because it was God’s will to have her compete so she was just following his orders…but I just don’t have the patience.) Dustin didn’t care about this because he felt just fine about putting either Zach or Nick up as a replacement. The thing he didn’t really think out is how everyone else in the house would see it. Anyhow, they’re pissed at him, and now Nick is on the block.

Oh, and along the way, Amber cried a few dozen times.

It says here that Nick goes home. First of all, he’s totally ruining Danielle’s game, and as a very physical guy who is smarter than he wants to let on, he’s also a pretty big threat. It should also be said that everyone is suspicious of him for things he didn’t do. Mostly, they think he voted for Zach to stay (when instead it was Eric, America’s Player). They think he’s much more under-handed than he actually is. Mainly he should be gone because he’s being a douche-nozzle to Danielle. (I’ve talked about this earlier, so I won’t go back into this.)

What’s interesting about this season is that, unlike most others, people I really like aren’t being targeted just yet. Partially, that’s because I really don’t like anyone…but also because the supposed alliance of Nick, Zach, Kail and Mike, as well as Jen, are in everyone else’s sights.

Finally, I couldn’t resist mentioning this new show called L.A. Ink,, a spinoff from Miami Ink which I’ve never seen. But TLC is promoting the hell out of this new show, and I can understand why. Kat Von D (which I’m pretty sure is not her real name) is crazy sexy. Not really my type – I generally prefer a majority of a woman’s body to be ink-free – but daaaaaamn. (The wife tells me my reaction to these commercials means we probably won’t be setting a Season Pass for this. I really need to be able to keep quiet a bit better.)



Edited to add this -- this is what Rocco DiSpirito looks like now. Nice frosted hair, girly man. What a nozzle.

Meet The Douche Nozzle: Roger Clemens

I hate Roger Clemens.

This does not put me into a small group - lots of people correctly feel hatred towards this guy. Most of it is because he is so clearly focused on making money, so clearly wound up on what might be steroids but has never been labeled as such, the fact that he names all of his kids with names beginning with the letter K...and of course, how he screwed over Red Sox fans by being fat,m out of shape and then proving it was all laziness by shredding it up for Toronto, the Yankees and the Astros.

In one of my favorite articles of all time, "I hate you, Roger Clemens," Seth Stevenson did as good a job as anyone summing this stuff up.

I'd like to add that it's not just me. Nobody likes you. It's just a matter of degree—of how much we hate you. Personally, I measure my hate in terms of how severely I want you to be injured. Like, I guess I wouldn't want to see you crippled for life, so you couldn't walk anymore. But I really wouldn't mind if you pulled your groin and missed five starts. That's the over-under on my hate.

Therefore, I was thrilled to see todays box score against the White Sox:


Yep, eight runs - sadly, only three earned - in less than two innings. Way to go, douche nozzle!

The schadenfreude is wonderful.

Bourdain!

As noted several prior times, I'm a HUGE fan of Anthony Bourdain. And his show, No Reservations started up its new season this week AND is coming to San Francisco this season...good stuff. Here is an interview that is pretty light, but I figured I'd share it anyhow. A sample:

Eat first. It seems to open doors if you show people that you're willing, eager and appreciative of their food. Food, of course, is the purest expression of a culture and a region and a history--and people tend to be proud of their food. Eating and drinking--breaking bread with our subjects (my crew as well) is what makes so much of what we get to see and do--and the unique way we see it--possible.

Good times.

Smile of the Day

In all the hubbub, I totally forgot that the new Cowboys coach is Wade Phillips.

That just makes me so very happy. (Cause I hate the Cowboys, in case you didn't quite get that part.)

The Juice

Oh, Internet how I love you. Sure, you have some problems like sites for Red State nincompoops to spread around lies, you help no talent folks get famous, and a whole host of other problems.

But in general, Internet, please know that this love is real.

Because things like the following - which I pilfered from Brahsome, which got it from Winning the Turnover Battle, and is apparently from TMZ.com, makes everything bad worth it. O.J. Simpson, apparently pissed that he couldn't reap any profits over his double-murder (Ron Goldman's parents are instead going to release If I Did It and share the profits with the Browns, making Simpson look even worse and not profit from it), he went on some call-in show where apparently the phone screener passed out or something.

It's good stuff: