Too Good Not To Share
As someone who likes the Red Sox, hates the Yankees, but really doesn't have much skin in the game one way or another, I shouldn't actually like this. You know why I do?
Cause it's FUNNY. And littered with bad language, so consider that a warning.
The fackin’ Red Sawx nation has waited YEE-AHS for you to recognize that ow-uh beloved Sawx deserve that Best Fackin’ Team ESPY.
AND YOU GO AND GIVE IT TO THE FACKIN’ GIANTS! FACK YOU! SACK MY FACKIN’ CAWK, YAH FACKIN’ ANKLEGRABBAHS!
(opens tin of Kodiak, tucks entire tin into lower lip)
Everyone knows that Kevin fackin’ Yooookulus and my boys deserved that fackin’ steel buttplug of a trophy you hand out. YOOOOOOOK!!!! My fackin’ boys were-ah the dawninant farce is awl of sparts last yee-ah. HOW DAY-UH YOU DENY THEM THE AWAAAAD THEY EARNED!
(spits into Snapple bottle)
I should have seen this coming. I knew you fackahs in Bristol ah biased towards New Yark. You always have been. YOU CONNECTICUT FACKS AAAAAHN’T TRUE NEW ENGLANDAHS! Oh, you may have lovely small towns and neglected shithole cities filled with shiftless dahkies, just like Mass, BUT YOU AAAAAHN’T FACKIN’ HAAAAHDCOR-UH LIKE US AND YAH NEVAH WILL BE! FACK YOU!
That's Kissing Suzy Kolber for you...always a good time.