Happy Halloween!
Cheesy, but worth sharing.
In related news, we had our first group of trick-or-treaters in years, the surest sign that we've finally left the city. Cute kids, and plenty of leftover candy. We call this a win-win.
October 2008
Ask The Onion
There was a time when some of my friends and I would email each other links to stories on The Onion fairly regularly. That doesn't happen so much anymore but there's no doubting they're still spot on funny most of the time.
And, apparently also quite prescient. This from May of 1993:
Yes, that's them making fun of a 'regular' guy from Ohio -- "Roy The Forklift Driver" -- talking to the country and Rush Limbaugh as some type of political savior. Which was funny then, and even funnier now that John McCain has chosen to hang his hat on Joe The Plumber (who stood McCain up this morning on the stump).
(By the way, it's entirely possible that this is a joke on people like me by the Onion and this was created earlier this week. In which case it's just as funny, if not more so.)
John McCain Knows Football
It doesn't really appear like I'm going to be able to get to a full writeup on last week's NFL games. Like many of you, I suppose, I'm mildly obsessed (though I prefer the word pre-occupied) with the election next week and have been using most of my increasingly limited free time accordingly.
Therefore, I've decided to use John McCain, Republican candidate for President, to sum up last week's NFL action. Frankly, he was up for the challenge, and I appreciate him subbing in here at the last minute.
Take it away, John Sidney McCain III.
My friends, what a doozy we saw last week in the National Football League. Well, I remember the days of the Galloping Ghost and my hero Ronald Reagan playing The Gipper, but I'm not sure anything could compare to what we saw on The Television last weekend.My friends, even though I don't like to mention it, I've lived in or around Warshington D.C. for longer than most of you have been alive. And I therefore root for the Redskins, unless I'm at one of my eight homes around the country, in which case I root for the local team! And those Redskins trounced the Detroit Lions, didn't they folks? AREN'T THEY GREAT? Sure, they only beat the terrible Lions by eight points, but a win is a win! And I know how to win! I do!
In fact, if the Lions - who have yet to win, most likely because they're from Michigan, a state I stoppped campaigning in almost a month ago - if they want my help rooting out the evil doers, I can do it. I have a plan. I know how it's done.
But I won't tell them. Nope. Not unless Michigan gives me its electoral votes.Anyhoo, I also watched some of that Kansas City game against the New York Jets. Let me tell you something, New York is a TERRIBLE place unless I want to use the horrors of 9/11 to scare people shitless. Aside from that, I'll just pretend it's like that Kurt Russell movie and bash it all to hell. (At least when I'm not at cocktail parties with the media elite I like to pretend I hate.) And when I watched that game - remember, Missouri is still very much in play - I was so impressed by that Tyler Thigpen.
Now, nobody really knows much about Tyler Thigpen, and in fact he's only shown a teensy bit of prowess in the game. So, my friends, I'm telling you this right now - if I'm elected, my new Secretary of Defense will be Tyler Thigpen! Sure, I've never met the guy, but I can feel his greatness right there in my gut.
Have I mentioned yet that I was a prisoner of war? Man, how did I let that go so long? I have the scars to prove it! And when I was there, they asked me for my troop leaders, so I gave them the names of the Green Bay Packers offensive line! Or the Steelers offensive line, depending on where I'm campaigning. That's just how this old guy rolls. (That's what the kids say these days, right? On The Google? Or on The Emails? Fantastic.)
Anyway, those Packers were amazing last week, they really were. (What's that? They were on bye? What the fuck? I saw Brett Favre, I know it! Oh...shit.)
Anyway, my wife is a whore. Have I mentioned that? Only to a few reporters and my wife to her face? I should really start messaging better.
My friends, I feel like I haven't said "my friends" nearly enough yet. I want to talk a little here about shady characters. When you hear Mike The Football Coach talk about Vernon the Tight End, you know which way is right.
What I've really been impressed by lately is how the forward pass has really taken off. I thought that was a fad, but those guys have really kept with it.
Now, I know I've gone far too long without talking about myself as a Maverick, or mentioning that my bus is called the Straight Talk Express, my friends, but times are tough. I know it. Why, Cindy (that's the trollop) and I paid a crapload of taxes this year, and I left my favorite belt buckle in one of our 13 cars, and I can't for the life of me figure out which one. That's just awful, my friends.
You may know I like to do a little gambling from time to time. My friends, I hate to say this with my socially conservative friends reading, but I took it in the ass this weekend. What's with all the pushes? And when did Cleveland decide they could play? If I wasn't so gosh darn rich, I would have been even richer after last weekend...but instead, I threw away at least one of your salaries on the picks. (Don't worry, it wasn't nearly as much money as we spent on my hot running mate's clothing in the last two months. Heaven forbid!)
George Schultz!
My friends, you may not know this but there's an election next week, and with all the polls saying I'm dead in the water, I need to remind you of a few things:
- I was a POW.
- Football is a game of inches, my friends, and I have the scars to prove it!
- Barack Obama wants to ban football and replace it with cricket! Or some other namby-pamby sport! It's true because he knows this guy who he met once or twice who HATES football! That's not change we can believe in!
- (Did you see what I did there? That was pretty clever, right? Heh heh heh.)
- My friends, I do not in any way resemble Abe Simpson, and it's just WRONG to say so.
- By the way, have you noticed how hot my running mate Sarah Palin is? Sure, she's the most unqualified person for the job I could possibly have found, but really, for having shoved out five kids, that's one tight job she's got going there. Sometimes, my friends, I wonder...even when I'm on the stage, I wonder.
- My friends, I haven't even talked about this glorious war I love so much! I gotta tell you folks, if you do me the honor of electing me, Governor Palin and I will be sure to put ALL of your children in harms way! If not Iran, North Korea! Or Mexico! Or fuck it, Canada! WAR WAR WAR! What is it good for? ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING - SAY IT AGAIN!
- So, my press guys tell me I haven't mentioned that I was a POW in the last sixty seconds, and that's not good, my friends. POW POW POW.
Anyhoo, I have to go tune up the TV set and get those rabbit ears agoing - I hear that young fella Baracky Obama is going to be on the teevee, and gosh darnit, I want to know what he has to say.
Oh, and congrats to Eric Johson of Studs Urkel for the win. I know he won't vote for me, but he won fair and square. As I'm hoping to do - and if not, fuck it, I'll cheat.
(Apologies to any of you who came here looking for actual football analysis, but this election is really important. Know hope. Vote Obama.)
McSweeney's Nails It
As always, good stuff. Credit to Jon Methven for a great piece here:
THE ECONOMIC CRISIS HITS THE MARKSON FAMILY MONOPOLY BOARD.
Dear Pamela—
I realize you're angry at how Friday night's Monopoly game ended. I'm writing this note to explain why certain things occurred the way they did, and, hopefully, to chip away at the chilly silence that has characterized our relationship the past few days.
Since we haven't spoken, I'm not aware of your stance on the causes of our dispute. I believe our major issue was the housing crisis, which began with your properties on Ventnor Avenue and Marvin Gardens. But in order to put that in context it's important that we first discuss the children's inflationary habits. I realize Bethany is only 6, and you find it cute that she writes "$5,000" in crayon on the backs of the Chance and Community Chest cards when she runs out of funds and uses them to purchase houses, but, if you recall, that is exactly what led to the inflation that crippled our Friday fun.
By allowing our 6-year-old to print her own currency, we're slashing the value of our real Monopoly dollars. Maybe you don't think it's a "big deal" and that I should "relax" because it's "only a game." But tell that to people like me and my former co-workers, who are out of jobs now that the U.S. dollar is worth squat.
...
This brings us to the housing crisis, for which you and you alone, Pamela, are responsible. When you choose a Chance card and Rich Uncle Pennybags orders you to pay taxes on your houses, then, damn it, Pamela, you pay taxes. Instead, you decide you're not going to pay, because you only have $7 left. It's just a game, you say. Stop taking it so seriously, you tell me. Well, maybe that's what the millions of Americans caught in the subprime-mortgage crisis should have done.
...
I'm hoping this note sheds some light on my economic acumen, and that you'll consider coming down to the jail to discuss this face to face. After all, Pamela, we have a game to finish. And I do believe it's your roll, sweetheart.
Just Shoot Me Now
It's funny how one single sentence can ruin your whole morning:
Condoleezza Rice as a long-shot for San Francisco's front office, perhaps? Nice story, Adam Schefter.
It's not enough that she helped fuck up at least two countries, now she might further screw up my favorite sports team? Granted, there's not much farther to fall ... but she's one of the people who can find new depths.
No. No. A THOUSAND TIMES NO!
Senator Biden Is Now My Homeboy
Courtesy of Ezra Klein, this is not only preposterously "adorable" but I have to say I really liked Biden's answer, and his anecdote that he tells on the stump here. Go Damien!
Bandwagon Logo?
Is it me or are the new Pepsi logos pretty darn reminiscent of the Obama logo? 
And, the Obama logo:
Guess they don't care about their market share in Utah...
OK, when I'm looking at them next to each other, it's interesting how they DON'T look so identical. But my absolute first, gut reaction was "Man, that looks like Obama's logo." And if you think that's accidental, you crazy.
An Open Letter
Forwarded to me and too good not to share:
Dear Red States:
If you manage to steal this election, too, we've decided we're
leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't
aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe
this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to
the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the
slave states. We get stem cell research and the best
beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red
states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You
get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-
war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose,
and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's
caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing
to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of
the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and
lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality
wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the
corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal,
all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy
and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech, UCLA, Berkeley
and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have
to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health
care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the
tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists,
virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University,
Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless
we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say
that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in
9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with
higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can
have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
--Blue States
Sure, it's snarky, a bit 'elitist' and certainly doesn't represent all the red state populace (nor all the blue states either) -- but it's pretty spot on in most places.
(Note that in many ways, this is all just a repeat of the landmark website, Fuck The South, which probably could stand a refresh at this point...)
Vote No on Prop 8
For anyone who can vote in California, this is important - for those who don't live here, our propositions are a nightmare and a really stupid process. But they're there, so let's roll with it.
Essentially, Prop 8 attempts to roll back the rights of gay marriage, to overturn the State Supreme Court. It's the kind of thing the right hates - unless it creates inequality for gays and minorities.
OK, that's harsh, but this is clearly a civil rights issue, and the state has already decided. Let's keep it that way.
When You Think of John McCain, Think of Me!
No, not ME. George Bush. Or, rather, Will Ferrell playing George Bush.
Pretty good stuff. I'm partial to Tina Fey posing in the 'photos'.
Erratic and Losing It
Sure, it's just a stumble, but the man looks confused. Old and confused - not a good combination.
Erratic and Losing It
Sure, it's just a stumble, but the man looks confused. Old and confused - not a good combination.
Why Did Mike Nolan Get Fired?
Perhaps some of you are wondering that. Many of the rest of you think this is a fairly no-brainer question. The San Francisco 49ers fired Mike Nolan yesterday, and while some people say this was long overdue, I think it was actually about the right tenure for Nolan.
Just so we're clear, that's me saying something nice about the York family running my favorite franchise in sports. It's not going to happen again anytime soon, so mark it.
Read more after the fold about Nolan and the 49ers, as well as a wrapup of the week in football.
When you think of Nolan, what do you think about?
It's the suits, right? When you coach a professional team -- nay, not just any team but one of the marquee NFL franchises - for three-plus seasons, and the only thing most can say about you is that you wanted to wear suits on the sideline ... well, that's not great.
We know that Bill Belichek dresses like a slob on the sidelines, but it's not what we think about - we think about him being one of the best coaches in football. And Jack Del Rio jumped on the suit bandwagon, but he's coached his team to some success. (Plus, if you really think about him, you might recall the time he put an axe in the locker room, only to have his Pro Bowl punter Chris Hanson cut himself in the leg. Eeks.)
Nolan will forever be tied to failed QB Alex Smith, and to be sure when you whiff on the #1 pick in the draft, things aren't going to turn around quickly. But Nolan did himself no favors.
Among his transgressions:
That last point really is what became obvious in the last year or two -- Nolan is straight out of central casting, says all the right things to the press and looks like he could star on Friday Night Lights as the terrifying opposing coach.
But he simply didn't know what he was doing. I'm sure he'll be a good defensive coordinator again, but it was time for him to go.
Will Mike Singletary be the answer? I doubt that he'll have much success this year, but he could go .500 which might get him the job next year. I think you get rid of a coach mid-season for one of two reasons: One, you think you have a legitimate shot to compete, but not with the current coach you have. OK, that's not the situation here. The other is that you want to try someone out, like Singletary, before giving him a long-term deal. We shall see - but I'm glad they actually took action.
As for the rest of the weekend, it appears that a coaching change has benefited St. Louis, who made the Romo-less Cowboys look fairly awful this weekend. Oakland also got themself a win, with a very surprising against the Jets, who have to be appalled at their performance. (They almost gave it away with a failed timeout to end the game, but won it on a 57-yard field goal, which is insane.)
So, maybe the Niners will do okay with the move.
Congrats go out to Matty Roze, whose uncomfortably named Touch Me Down There was the only team to notch nine wins in a rough week. I managed only five wins which makes me wonder if perhaps Wade Phillips filled out my picks. Zing!
OK, that's all I got for now. Congrats again.
Dave Letterman: America's Toughest Journalist
Seriously, as far as I know, nobody has asked John McCain all of these questions in one sitting. McCain handles himself fine, but it's both nice to see the questions being asked (such as, "If there's another 9/11, is Sarah Palin really the person we want in charge?") as well as insane that nobody from CNN, MSNBC, Fox (sorry, that's a joke) or otherwise would dare to ask these questions.
It's long, but worth it.
Smart, Poised and Funny, Too
This from whatever the "Al Smith dinner" is, courtesy of Marc Ambinder. I've bolded some of my favorites:
"People tell me I share the politics of Alfred E. Smith and the earns of Alfred E. Neumann""I was originally told that we would able to move this outdoors to Yankee Stadium. Can someone tell me what happened to the Greek columns I requested."
"On the Waldorf Astoria: They tell me, from the doorstep, you can see all the way to the Russian Tea Room."
To Al Smith IV: "I obviously never knew your grandfather, but from everything Sen. McCain has told me..."
Mayor Michael Bloomberg's term limits maneuverings caused Bill Clinton to say: "You can do that?"
The housing crisis "has been eight times harder on John McCain."
"The last few weeks, John's been out on the campaign trail asking the question Who Is Barack Obama. I've got to admit, I was surprised by the question: the answer is right there on my Facebook page."
"I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on krypton...."
"I got my name Barack from my father.... it's actually Swahali for "That one."
My middle name, it's not what you think. It's actually "Steve."
"There was a point in my life when I started palling around with a pretty ugly crowd.... that's right... I've been a member of the United States Senate."
"Fox News accused me of fathering two African-American children in wedlock."
In the interest of fairness, apparently John Sidney McCain III also was there and contributed these 'gems':
McCain says he fired all of his campaign staff; "All of their positions will now be held by a man named Joe The Plumber."Says that Joe Biden falsely claims that Joe The Plumber isn't rich enough trigger the Obama tax hike; "What they don't know is that Joe The Plumber recently signed a lucrative contract to handle all the work on all seven of their houses."
Says his pet name for Obama is "The One"; Obama's for McCain is "George Bush."
"I can't shake the feeling that some people here are voting for me. Nice to see you, Hillary."
Bill Clinton "has been hammering away with me with epithets like, "hero."
"It's going to be a long, long night at MSNBC if I manage to pull this thing off. I understand that Keith Olbermann has ordered up his very own Mission Accomplished banner. They can hang it up in his padded room"
"We know the press is really an independent-minded, civic-minded, non-partisan group, like ACORN."
A nice tribute to Obama at the end, saying that he can't "wish him luck," but he does "wish him well."
Note: McCain seems to be poking fun at himself for talking about his seven houses that Joe the Plumber is working on. But ... doesn't he have EIGHT homes? Does McCain still not know how many houses he owns? Good gravy.
The Power of the Split Screen
Like all the debates, I watched last night on PBS -- they have the least obnoxious hosts, and don't talk over anything including the conventions. And unlike other networks, they didn't use a split screen last night...which means I didn't see John McCain making faces at what Barack Obama was saying. This morning, everyone was talking about how angry McCain looked, and I could only think of a few bug-eyes or stammers from an otherwise disjointed, scattered McCain.
But this shows me what I largely missed:
Is it fair? No, and I'm sure Obama made some faces too (though largely when I saw him, his reactions were smiling at the nonsense McCain was issuing) but this does explain the reaction.
Interesting, too, that different presentations like this can have such an impact on viewers reactions. (And that the so-called liberal PBS avoided this altogether...though I did appreciate David Brooks saying something like, "John McCain ... would you want to listen to that voice for the next four years?")
Stunning
I know that housing prices are crazy out here, but this from the Detroit Free Press just stuns me:
Driven down by sales of foreclosed homes, median sale prices fell 34% in metro Detroit in September compared with a year ago, dipping below $10,000 in the city of Detroit.
The median price on a house or condo sold in Detroit last month plummeted 57%, to $9,250, from $21,250 a year ago, according to figures released Monday by Realcomp, a multiple listing service based in Farmington Hills.
Foreclosures represented two-thirds of sales in Detroit in September, and they boosted sales by 81% as buyers laid claim to 1,019 homes.
For the wider metro area, the median sale price was down 34%, from $129,000 a year ago to $85,000 last month.
The median price - that is, there are half as many homes priced below as above - was $9,250. Half the homes sold in Detroit cost less than that. There's not much farther to go - and I know that Detroit has been feeling this pinch for awhile - but good LORD. It's not much better in the "wider metro area" but the numbers within Detroit look like they are from the 1960's.
Good gravy.
Old People are Old!
OK, I sort of have to post this through some obligation - when a chick from Heroes does a profanity-laced video about John McCain, it's in my contract to put it up here.
Hayden Panettiere claims she knows she's hot enough to command your attention for 30 seconds, so let's test that out:
See more Hayden Panettiere videos at Funny or Die
Unfortunately, it's not very funny - though it's not awful. I will say that Hayden Panettiere acts better here than she does in almost any episode of Heroes.
P.S. John McCain is old.
Exactly!
A lot of people are - and will - discount John McCain's performance this election season by talking about the headwinds he's facing, the uphill battle any Republican running for office would be, etc. But Matt Taibbi gets it spot on here:
But all of those "headwinds," or almost all of them, are the direct result of McCain having supported policies that are now unpopular. There is absolute justice in his facing a "headwind" from the financial meltdown, from the unpopularity of the Iraq war, and so on. How is that a "headwind"? That's just self-created unpopularity.
If McCain was a true maverick, and had been against any substantial Bush policy that matters to voters, he'd have a better chance here. He's fighting uphill because he put himself at the bottom of that hill.
Week Six: NFL Wrapup, Sort Of.
It seems I'm not going to get around to doing a full write up on last weekend's games, but man that was some good football. It seemed like every game ended on a last second play.
Take, for example, the Redskins-Rams game. Mommy and Me owner Amy and I were talking last weekend, and she was berating me -- appropriately, for not giving props to the Redskins. We talked about it, I agreed to write something here, but we joked that now that she went off about it, Washington would suddenly look awful.
Uh, yup. Losing to the Rams is pretty damn sorry these days. Not really sure what happened there. I do think the Skins are a pretty good team - and Jason Campbell looks like a real quarterback. Everyone has their missteps - see the Giants on Monday Night Football, looking pretty pathetic against the once woeful Browns. It's nice to see Cleveland get that offense back, but the Giants were supposed to be one of the really good teams.
The Dallas-Arizona game was crazy, ending on a blocked punt. While I never mind seeing the Cowboys lose, finding out that my starting fantasy QB Tony Romo is out four weeks kind of blunted that joy.
Then there was the Chicago-Atlanta game...which with :11 seconds on the clock, I was really impressed not only with Kyle Orton, but the way his team seemed really pumped up by him and that last second touchdown.
That's a game. And Ryan in particular looks like the real deal. Very mature for a rookie QB with really only one decent receiver. When he and Michael Turner are both having good games, they can pretty much run with the big boys.
The 49ers, meanwhile, had one of the more crushing performances in awhile. I knew they had a bad schedule, and thought they'd lose to the Eagles -- but it turns out they didn't have to lose. They were up by NINE going into the fourth quarter...and they lost by fourteen. That's a 23-0 run by the Eagles in the fourth quarter. The Niners misused the clock both in play calling and worthless challenges, and it looked poor across the board. They are a better team - they have a credible offense most of the time. Their defense should be credible, but they have no pass rush which puts pressure on everyone else. (That includes first round pick Kentawn Balmer, who has barely played.) I suspect Mike Nolan is going to get fired at the end of the season (some have suggested it could come before their upcoming bye, but I'd doubt that), and that's fine -- but Mike Martz needs to let Frank Gore run with a lead before I'm ever going to fully trust him either.
I think there's going to be a week where Ronnie Brown has more passing yards than a starting QB. Charlie Frye or the Kansas City QB of the Week, I'm talking to you guys.
Anyhow, it's a fun season thus far (and that's even before the Cowboys doubled up on their Roy Williams quotient) and mostly because there's no obvious dominant team now, in either league. (Yes, the Titans are 5-0 but they are still the Titans. They're good, but I need to see more.)
Congrats again to the Notorious AIC for last week's win!
NFL: Week Five Wrapup
Unlike last weekend, I watched the vast majority of games this week - and wow, what a week to do so. So many games came down to the wire, and as would be expected for this time in the season, we started to get a little clarity on what teams are looking like they are for real (for better or for worse).
The Titans, implausibly enough, seem very much to be for real. Sure, they have no receivers to speak of, but they have a strong, balanced running game, a quarterback who doesn't make mistakes, and a tenacious defense. (Yes, I'm channeling both Marv Albert and Jack Black with that one.) Dallas rebounded to look a lot more like the team we thought they are, though Cincinnati played strong again even though the results were yet another loss. Indeed, the Bungles are back - and now Cedric Benson is part of the team!
But it's worth pointing out one other team, and it's a team that has at least three die-hard supporters in this Pick 'Em. That team is the New York Giants, who looked frightfully good for a team with their best receiver (Plaxico Burress) on suspension. I'm not sure if the 'Jints' are hands down the best team in the league as Jeff "El Jeffe" Mester suggested to me, but they are damn good. (Of course, because I'm a jerk, I'll choose to illustrate it by showing Manning looking like a drunk doofus. I'm ... a jerk.)
Who are those other two Jints fans? One is Rob Doten, and the other is this week's winner Scott Schwartz. Before we get much further, props should go out to Scottie and his team, Cecil Snotz and Hanky. (No, I don't know what it means either. He usually names his teams after Judge Lance Ito.) Scott had informed me on Saturday night that the prior week, he'd gotten eight games right in the morning - and then whiffed on every game after that. Well this week, it took nine wins and a tiebreaker, but Scott pulled through. Way to go, Zcoot.
Now, back to the games. 
Did you know that Eagles RB Brian Westbrook has a brother who plays for the Redskins? He's a defensive back, on the practice squad, and that's not altogether interesting. What IS interesting is that his name is Byron. Byron Westbrook, brother of Brian Westbrook.
Who would do that? What parent would want to have to yell for one of their kids and inevitably get it wrong, or have both of those kids ignore you because they think you're talking to the other one? Why? WHY?
So now that Miami has beaten both the Patriots and the Chargers, we have to at least take them somewhat seriously, right? That AFC East is looking brutally tough this year, with the Jets, Bills, Pats and even the Dolphins looking like actual threats.
The 49ers have gone back to looking pretty shoddy, though losing to the Patriots (even with Matt Cassel) is nothing to be ashamed of. But their schedule is brutal - they face the Giants and the Eagles next - and things are going to get worse before they get better. Don't be suprised if you hear the call for coach Mike Nolan's head, to be replaced by offensive coordinator Mike Martz, or possibly a reach to Mike Singletary, the linebackers coach. (Why are all of these guys named Mike?)
Look, I love my Niners, if that's not patently obvious, but they aren't there yet. They are better than they have been, and even this last Sunday you could see the offense really gelling. But the defense - though decent - can't make those stands to get off the field. And there isn't a defense in the world that can thrive when it's playing 65% of the plays. I hear rumors that the team is looking into trades for Roy Williams or Chad Ocho Cinco -- that's fine, as they need a receiver to pair against Isaac Bruce (who has really looked spry of late), but I'd pass (pun intended) on those guys if I could for anyone who could rush the passer.
I'm sure that Matt Schaub, like all other Texans, were pretty crushed by that loss against the Colts. But Schaub at least benefited in one way - he gets his job back. It's not totally clear what illness he came down with to give Sage Rosenfels the start on Sunday, but until Rosenfels cost the team the game with two horrendous plays, there was a bonafide QB controversy. Not so much right now.
That game featured one of the two more amazing catches of the weekend, this one by Reggie Wayne on the game winning TD. The other was by Marty Booker of the Bears, another one handed snag. With due respect to Booker, that's probably the last time I'll talk about those two guys together.
So, Larry Johnson has a few great games and the Chiefs knock off the Broncos. Then, LJ nets TWO yards in a blowout loss to the Panthers, in which DeAngelo Williams scores 3 TDs before halftime. I'm not really sure what my point is here, except that the Chiefs really do suck.
Alright, it's time to wrap up. We are getting close to Thursday night games but they aren't quite here yet. In the meantime, get those picks in and don't forget about the tiebreakers!
Practice Makes...Perfect?
Nope, not even close, but she's more prepared:
However, it's so coached it's almost laughable. I'm pretty sure she refers to "imminent domain" in reference to Kelo and what's more, this highlights one of the things that drives me CRAZY about listening to her speak - it's not the high pitched squeaky accent...it's when she lowers her voice and sort of half-whispers. It's a guarantee that whatever she's about to say is going to be moronic and annoying. Still, Fox News tries to bail her out with this (saying she was silent with Couric because she was 'annoyed' not because she was and is woefully unprepared...)
On Testing
This is definitely written from a developer perspective -- that is, after all, what my friend Alex is -- but his writeup here on the importance of testing and how to best do it is pretty sweet for anyone involved in product development. (Like, um, me.)
Any non-trivial problem needs to be broken down in some way. Few of us have the mental capacity to keep an entire solution in our heads. Even if we could, it generally doesn’t last beyond the period in which the solution is developed. And even if you could do this, chances are few of your teammates would be able to. So at worst, breaking a problem down is a pro-social practice; at best it’s a tool to ensure that you really understand what’s going both now and in the future.
It must be an inherent part of human-nature—we simply love putting things in boxes. Perhaps this is because that in doing so, we can hang a simple tag on a collection of related concepts as a form of shorthand. That shorthand allows us to talk about things in an efficient way. Imagine a design conversation where you couldn’t name anything, but had to describe a piece over and over by its details. Yuck. So yeah, boxes are important.
So where does testing fit in? Testing allows you to write automated assertions about each of those boxes. It’s like a logic game where you can start draw conclusions based on what you already know. It’s like being able to say, “If this test is passing and that test is passing, the only thing that could torpedo this is if that doesn’t work”.
Check out the whole post. Alex has really done a great job here.
Debate Thoughts
Well, she didn't humiliate herself, and certainly outperformed the embarassingly low expectations she set for herself. Polls seem to handily give this to Biden, which is actually correct, and the consensus seems to be that this won't change anything in the polls, which is good news for Obama.
What was distressing about Palin up there was that she staunchly refused to answer some questions by bringing up things that were never asked of her. It would have been nice for Gwen Ifill to even mention that, but one can't ask for everything.
This image of how she approached the debate sums it up better than I could ever hope to:
Fearless Predictions
Tonight's debate has raised a lot of interest, certainly the most for a VP debate I can ever remember. So here's a few predictions I don't think are at all that daring:
- Sarah Palin will say a few things that are cogent, coherent and decently argued.
- Joe Biden will say something trivial that can (but shouldn't) be interpreted as a rude, boorish statement of some sort.
- The press will immediately pounce, and the story will become that Palin outstripped expectations, and/or that "Biden had a Biden moment" and this will dominate the "news" for the next few days.
Somewhere along the way, it might be good to see how they fall on the issues, but I'm not crazy.
Week 4: Football Wrapup
This one is going to be brief because...I didn't watch a single down of football this week.
Yep, that's right. Mostly, it was because I spent Sunday driving home from Mt. Shasta after going up there to watch my friends Dave and Laura get married, which was fantastic. I listened to the Niners game on the radio, at least part of it, and a touch more on that later. And Monday night, I was at my in-laws for dinner, so I missed that game as well.
So while I issue a hearty congratulations to Roberto Broegg and his "TBA" team for notching a tie-breaker win, I can barely say much anything about the games. (Clearly, since I truly embarassed myself with just three - yes, 3 - correct picks this week. As Sammy Davis would say, "Ouch, babe.")
A few notes:
Who is the worst team now? Kansas City beat Denver (is Larry Johnson back, or does the Broncos rushing defense suck that badly?) rather handily. Detroit got better over their bye simply by firing Matt Millen. The same could be said for St. Louis, who fired head coach Scott Linehan, but right now they look like the worst team in the league.
And the best? Despite a win by the Redskins over the Cowboys, it still has to be Dallas. They didn't look great (apparently, as I now recall that I did see a few downs of football from inside a Subway shop off I-5 near Redding) but I'm not seeing anyone who is markedly better than them.
How is it that it took all this time for Brett Favre to throw six touchdowns in a game? I mean, it's an incredible feat, but I actually would have thought he'd done it before. What a display by the Jets.
The Niners fell back to earth in a big way, losing badly to a Saints team that was very banged up offensively. I'm not suprised, though I am disappointed that they couldn't keep the magic going that long to at least play it close. Still, at 2-2 with some offensive pop, the team is heading in the right direction, and a fan like me can't complain if that continues to be the case.
OK, folks - that's it for now. Congrats again to Mr. Broegg, and the rest of you - don't forget about those tiebreakers! They matter each and every week.
