Not Helping The Lawyers
This borders on the awesome ... the website ThinkGeek specializes in, well ... I have no idea. But one thing they DO have are products based on pop culture like a Dharma Initiative Clock. So, they've received their share of cease-and-desist letters over the years. Some folks argue that these are not much more than lawyers pushing paper around just to earn some fees, and while that's undoubtedly NOT true in many cases, a lot of them are just useless.
And this one, they argue - and I have to agree - could and should be the best.
I'll let them take it from here:
First, it's 12 pages long and very well-researched (except on one point); it even includes screengrabs of the offending item from our site. And we know they're not messing around because they invested in the best and brightest legal minds.
But what makes this cease and desist so very, very special is that it's for a fake product we launched for April Fool's day.
.. the Canned Unicorn Meat.
In case you can't quite read that, the text says,
"Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guiness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn."
And apparently, at no point in creating a 12-page cease and desist letter, it occurred to nobody that this might, just might, be a joke. (Not even the fact that this was published on April 1st.)
ThinkGeek ends with a winner:
We'd like to publicly apologize to the NPB for the confusion over unicorn and pork--and for their awkward extended pause on the phone after we had explained our unicorn meat doesn't actually exist.
Go check out the whole thing, and drop a ducket or two over there if you so choose. And to the National Pork Board? Yeah, this one has to sting a bit.