Free Diet Tip!

I say this mostly joking but not entirely...

Keep a small bottle of Patchouili Oil on your desk, and before you reach for that cruller or Milky Way, take a long sniff of it. (Note - it can be any brand, this was just the first one I found).

Going to college in Santa Cruz may have been the tipping point for me, but I honestly have never understood why people would voluntarily put this on their bodies. To me, it smells like week old deli onions. On my way to pick up some lunch today, I walked by someone wearing it...I literally had to catch my breath, and it took me about an hour to really dive into my otherwise delicious spinach salad.

Patton Oswalt most famously described patchouli oil the following way:

It smells like dirt that's been f*cked by a hobo.

Note: Patton did not edit himself, but this is a family blog or at least one that pretends to be.

To Patton and others, I can only say ... after I got my lunch, I passed a homeless man and he smelled way, way better than the dude in the patchouli oil.