It's hard to not think this is actually a joke, but ... apparently it isn't.
That's right, it's a blanket to help control farting - or, more specifically, to control the smell so when your partner rips it, you don't 'suffer.'
I am speechless.
It's hard to not think this is actually a joke, but ... apparently it isn't.
This is especially cool if you've spent any time on Market Street in San Francisco (and if you've worked downtown there like I have, you've been on or around that street literally thousands of times) -- it's taken a few days prior to the 1906 earthquake, and has the added benefit of being played to a great song by the band Air.
Thanks to, of all folks, my father for sending this one out. Enjoy.
It's absolutely absurd for anyone, even so-called draft "experts," rate a draft before anyone gets on the field. I'm quite sure that a few years ago, many people thought the Raiders had made a great pick in JaMarcus Russell. It was crazy that Brady Quinn fell so far in the draft a few years ago, now it seems insane that he was even a first round pick at all.
So, with that being said ... here are my thoughts.
I already wrote about the first round, and continue to be excited about the potential solid offensive line. A month or two ago, while traveling for business I bought an NFL Draft magazine (neither airport had a single fantasy baseball magazine...) and I just looked at it. It rated Anthony Davis as the third-best offensive tackle, which is where he was drafted, and Mike Iupati as the top-rated offensive guard.
* And yes, likely one of the only five Jews in the NFL.
In the third, I thought the team might go after another defensive back, most likely at corner, but instead they took Penn State LB Navorro Bowman. I knew nothing about him, and frankly wouldn't have cited linebacker as a real problem area. But I like what I hear about his ability to hit and tackle in open space, and most thought he'd go a round earlier. He should provide the spell to Takeo Spikes that Spikes needs, and hopefully eventually take that slot over.
As for the later rounds, after the team traded away its 4th-round pick to move up two positions in the first round to grab Davis (something I'm still not sure they needed to do), it was all a crapshoot. But, I will say that it seems like the team might have gotten a real steal in the 6th round, taking Anthony Dixon, RB from Mississippi State. On many folks boards, both Dixon and Jonathan Dwyer were expected to go in the second or third round, but slid to the sixth. I like the fact that he's a big, bruising back - but as some have pointed out, that's the same mold as starter Frank Gore and backup Glen Coffee. It would be nice to have some more flexibility back there, but you take talent like that when it is there.
The team also grabbed Kyle Williams, a WR who can complement recent team acquisition Ted Ginn Jr in the return game, and a blocking tight end and finally, a cornerback in the 7th round.
All in all, it seems like the team did quite well in addressing its needs; now, time will tell if these were the right players to fill those gaps. Along the way, the team is much younger than it was just a few years ago, and seems poised to take the next critical step. I'm looking forward to it.
It's been said by many folks smarter than me, from Edward Tufte to Seth Godin to, now, the US Army. Below is a slide that was shown to General Stanley McChrystal to demonstrate the complexity of American military strategy (something I rather suspect he was well aware of already):
|Get it? Of course not.|
Now, if all the slide was supposed to do was to elicit a "Wow ... that is complex," then well, Mission Accomplished. But of course, as anyone who has put together a PowerPoint deck or 500 of them knows, nobody would possibly make a slide this complicated without thinking/hoping/praying that a lot more information was being communicated.
McChrystal's alleged response?
When we understand that slide, we’ll have won the war.Touche.
I thankfully work in a company that doesn't subsist on PowerPoint, but I've worked in other environments where it felt like 80% of my time was putting together presentations. When you delight in learning how to Align Shapes, you probably aren't getting the most out of your job.
All joking aside, the article itself talks about the real problems with PowerPoint aside from the fact it isn't nearly user-friendly enough - bullet points seem to leave little room for ambiguity, while ignoring complex relationships between issues.
... slides impart less information than a five-page paper can hold, and that they relieve the briefer of the need to polish writing to convey an analytic, persuasive point. Imagine lawyers presenting arguments before the Supreme Court in slides instead of legal briefs.Um, YIKES.
Just like Microsoft Project, though, it's the default program for the overall user community - mainly because there simply isn't a better, scalable option that companies adopt.
As Godin writes today,
If there was any other tool as widely misused in your organization, you'd ban it. The cost is enormous in lost opportunity and lost time. Guns don't kill people, bullets do.Can't we find a better solution?
Edited to add: The Harvard Business Review asks the same question, with more good examples.
The NFL Draft, in an effort to be ridiculous, now lasts three days. Tonight, the first round aired and had it's share of interesting developments.
In the mock drafts I saw, the Raiders were picked to do one of three things -- none of which they did:
- -- Draft Jimmy Clausen, and admit that JaMarcus Russell is not just a bust, he's the worst pick in NFL history.
- -- Draft someone 'off the board,' with huge athletic talent but suspect on-field play. This was typically someone like USC S Taylor Mays and Maryland OT Bruce Campbell. Neither were drafted in the first round by anyone.
- -- Draft to fill an obvious position of need in a deep draft -- such as at offensive line. Though only two tackles had been taken (Trent Williams and Russell Okung), they passed here as well.
So, that was weird. It's odd when the Raiders act like a professionally run NFL franchise.
The 49ers went into the first round looking to upgrade at offensive line and defensive back. In the last few weeks, the rumor mill had been that they would be thrilled if Clausen fell to them and he'd be hard to pass up. It's safe to say such rumors made me feel a bit queasy. But, as it turned out, they passed on him twice.
CB standout Joe Haden went where he should have all along, in the top ten (going to Cleveland), and while Earl Thomas was still on the board with their first pick, they chose to grab two offensive lineman, trading up two picks to ensure grabbing Rutgers OT Anthony Davis, and Idaho OG Mike Iupati. If both are good enough to start next season, the team all of a sudden has a decent offensive line.
49ers beat writer Matt Maiocco projects the starting offensive line next year to be:
I kind of like the look of that. It also means a few things, notably that the team is committed to Alex Smith, at least for the 2010 season. That's exactly the right approach - for 2010. It also suggests that the 49ers are going to find an offense that is a combination of smashmouth and spread. If Smith can take a step forward, and Michael Crabtree and Josh Morgan do likewise, this team will move the ball on offense to go with their defense.
Some interesting names out there before the second round begins, where the 49ers have 17th pick (49th overall). Here are the names of players I saw on more than one list as first round picks:
Other guys, like Golden Tate and Jonathan Dwyer, are pegged as likely 2nd round picks, as I'm sure are a lot of other names out there I don't know. I'm sure whoever snares Clausen is going to feel pretty good, and I can't argue that he's not worth any second round pick. He just clearly wasn't worth a first rounder - to any team in the league.
If the 49ers can come out of tomorrow with a defensive back they are happy with, maybe even two, I'll definitely feel good about things, and I also expect them to try and grab a pass rusher if one is there. It's unclear with the acquisition of Ted Ginn whether they'll look to add another receiver, but I wouldn't object to it.
Overall, a nice start - if an unsexy one - to the NFL Draft.
As a guy, it's my inalienable right to incessantly quote movies (or TV shows, or song lyrics) to the point that for the folks who don't get the reference, it's guaranteed to raise an eyebrow. I remember that my buddy Matt and I during our college trip to Europe continually repeated this line:
Hey! They've got cheesecake!
Recognize it? OF COURSE YOU DON'T. It was from a play he'd been in that year in college, the name of which I am not entirely sure I ever knew. But it made us laugh.
Most of my favorite movies are eminently quotable, which makes the site Bad Translator extremely fun. I found this from my friend A.J. Mass's site Mass Confusion, which you should add to your reading list stat.
And then, of course, I wasted some time.
The site essentially takes the text you input (regrettably, with a maximum of 250 characters) and puts it through as many web-based translation services as possible, converting it back into English each time. The result is, as might be expected, a terrible mess that bears little resemblance to the original.
"Hit churches, hotels, bed and head baseball and women's feet."Of course you don't. That's because the original quote, from Bull Durham, went like this:
"You hit white balls for batting practice, the ballparks are like cathedrals, the hotels all have room service, and the women all have long legs and brains. "Want to have some more fun? Here are some more quotes, with the original source below the fold. See if you can even guess one -- in fact, I'd bet my life NOBODY can. This translator is just that bad!
"Eyiumyeo leader, for instance, my bad if you're interested in hiring you to speak with a love for animals in the circus, Abraham Cahan low."
"Table or support the first year of the world. I am pleased with the progress of program activities. The total cost of treatment."
Dresses & Grace, some ... In the near future. 2 pilot to attack the former dolores services - as Expanding expert 10,000 meters."
Well, this may have been a bit less painful than I'd feared, though at some point in the near future, I do hope to replace the above citrus image with something ... different.
I do love citrus though!
Oh, and one more thing - while doing this, the wife and I watched the 30 For 30 episode on rotisserie baseball. I've not just liked every episode of 30 For 30, I've pretty much LOVED all of them. But this episode was different ...
So, that will be happening soon, even tonight ... IF I can find a suitable template. I can Google them, and that's how I have done it in the past, but without building my own from scratch or moving to WordPress, I'd LOVE a suggestion. Please email any such suggestions to http://www.twitter.com/greebs or firstname.lastname@example.org
While I'm finally getting traction on The Brothers Karamazov, I took a few nights off last week (the only time I get to read any more is right before bed) and read Everything Is Wrong With Me, a memoir by Jason Mulgrew. The book was sent to be by the fine people at HarperCollins, and I definitely thank them for the thought.
|Kid in a suit. Always funny.|
That's not actually right; what is clear is that Mulgrew can spin a good yarn, especially about his family (mostly his parents) who were a rowdy bunch. I'm fairly sure that if I sat at an adjacent barstool from Mulgrew, I'd have a pretty fun evening listening to his tales.
That being said, as a complete book, even as a memoir of a guy who is still just in his early thirties, it feels decidedly incomplete, and sometimes disjointed. The stories themselves are pretty amusing and sometimes quite entertaining. But ... they are mostly stories that were previously told to him. As you near the end of the book, you start to wonder who, exactly, this is a memoir of. The sub-title of the book is "A Memoir of an American Childhood Gone, Well, Wrong." So, I'll grant Mulgrew the cheekiness of writing a memoir of only the first third of his lfie. But even the stories of his childhood are really stories about what his parents were doing then. It feels unconnected, and ultimately isn't that satisfying.
I would like to read more by Mulgrew (and certainly, more from the generous folks at HarperCollins) as he shows a lot of talent, humor and skill. But it doesn't quite come together here.
We’re about one week away from the beginning of the NFL Draft, which I’ve gotten more excited about this year than in many years past. The 49ers have two first round picks, and the draft is reputedly quite deep this year.
That is, with the notable exception of the Quarterback position. This blog has dutifully stated that Alex Smith should have the 2010 season to make his case – and that’s it. The 49ers have stated as much, openly saying they weren’t interested in trading for Donovan McNabb, etc. This hasn’t stopped national writers, who only know of Smith as a “bust,” from linking the 49ers to any and every QB whether or not they are good. This has led to writers wondering outloud why the 49ers wouldn’t go after guys like Derek Anderson or Jake Delhomme, who went elsewhere.
|The hair alone kicks him out of the first round.|
The main reason is that Smith is better right now than either of those two guys, and neither of them are long-term answers. Oh, what’s that? You want a long-term answer? How about someone in this year’s draft? The prize seems to be Sam Bradford, but after that, it’s truly anyone’s guess – both Tim Tebow and Jimmy Clausen seem to be the next two guys, with Clausen expected to be the second QB off the board.
What makes zero sense – ZERO – is for the 49ers to be involved here. There are top prospects at defensive back and the offensive line that should be available and wasting a top pick on a question mark makes little sense.
Which is why I read in horror when local 49ers beat writer Matt Maiocco, a guy I respect a lot and who knows the 49ers organization intimately said that he thought “…49ers/Clausen is a very interesting possibility.” He then added, “Just to be clear, I will not have the 49ers taking QB Jimmy Clausen in my final mock draft, but I can't completely rule out it happening.”
This ... horrifies me. It’s not just because Clausen looks like a member of the Cobra Kai, that he has perhaps the most idiotic douchenozzle hair I’ve seen in a long time and looks like he might enjoy hitting the bar scene up with Ben Roethlisberger and Sebastian Janikowski.
|Sorry kid, you're just ... not likeable.|
Look, I’m all about Notre Dame quarterbacks – or, at least, one of them. The reality is they haven’t really produced a viable QB prospect since Joe Cool. These are the quarterbacks drafted in the NFL from Notre Dame since 1971:
- 2007 - Brady Quinn
- 2000 - Jarious Jackson
- 1993 - Rick Mirer
- 1987 - Steve Beuerlein
- 1984 - Blair Kiel
- 1980 - Rusty Lisch
- 1979 - Joe Montana
- 1971 - Joe Theismann
Even if I give you Theismann and Beurlein, that’s not a great group of players, even with the greatest quarterback of all-time in there.
I honestly have no idea what the 49ers front office is thinking, and the fact that there’s been such upheaval there recently certainly gives me pause. But since Clausen is no sure thing … even if you want to take a gamble on a QB, why do it in the first? How about Tony Pike later on, or even Colt McCoy in the 2nd? Don’t pass up guys like Joe Haden, Trent Williams or Anthony Davis for a punk like Clausen. These guys can help the 49ers win in 2010, and so can Alex Smith. Clausen - or any other QB, for that matter - can't.
Yes, this is Masters winner Phil Mickelson, in a Krispy Kreme drive-thru wearing his green jacket.
He's also wearing a Masters lid, like the ones the
I honestly didn't think I could like Lefty more ... but now I do.
Honestly, if you wanted to make the case that steroids and PEDs don't help you hit one more single HR - yes, I'm talking to you, Mr. McGwire - you couldn't have a better piece of evidence than this:
"Yes, I did," Benard told the AP when asked if he took steroids. "It was what it was. I did some stupid things. I should have never done them. At the time you think you're doing the right thing for the right reason, then you realize you made a mistake and it's too late and you can't take it back.
"You've got to move on. It's not going to change anything. There's nothing that can change it, make it better or make it worse than what happened," he said.
Honestly, I'm reasonably sure there wasn't a WORSE major league ballplayer who had full employment during the nine years Benard made Giants fans miserable. (Over his career, the Giants also paid him over $13,000,000 for this suffering. I'm now going to shove a meat thermometer in my temple.) A simple glance at his statistics on Baseball-Reference.com suggests I'm not giving Benard the benefit of the doubt (his career OBP of .344 is not good, but it's far better than I'd have guessed), but still ... the guy wasn't good. Ever. And his teammates knew it, too.
Steroids help you stay on the field, heal from injuries quicker, etc. And if you can do it, to bulk up without as much harm to your body. But they can't make a shitty player a good one, and Marvin Benard is all the proof you need for that argument.
It's not nearly as funny as that title might sound - it's actually Scott Adams' blog - he's the creator of Dilbert, and while some of his posts are about office silliness, like any blog it's about a myriad of things.
Man, I've been waiting to use myriad in a sentence for a long time. Mission accomplished!
Anyhoo, it's well worth your time to read, bookmark and/or subscribe. Today's post, called "Borrowing From Our Children," is a typically good read:
Last night I heard on television for the millionth time that our national debt is like borrowing from our children. ... But are we borrowing from our children or investing in them? Suppose we decide to stop spending money so our children will have lots of money for themselves. That would be generous of us, right?
I don't think so.
I think future generations might like to have most of the things we're investing in, such as infrastructure, healthcare, schools, a clean environment, energy sources, and freedom, to name just a few. No one wants to inherit a country full of sickly, uneducated hobos, on the verge of being conquered by Cuba.
And perhaps we should stop talking about the future debt in absolute dollars, because "trillions" scares the food out of my esophagus, through my large and small intestines, and about four feet into the surface of the earth. I prefer to hear our national debt expressed as percentages of, for example, our next 30 years of projected GDP. That way it doesn't seem so scary.
Future generations should go get a job. And a haircut. And stay off my lawn!
Folks who don't like President Obama sometimes call him arrogant, or cocky. Given that this was a perfect description of the last guy to sit in that office, and basically everyone I can think of who has the gall to effectively run for President, not sure it's much of a dig. And, when push comes to shove, if they can walk the walk, they can talk the talk. (Again, not so much with that last fella.)
So, even though it plays right into this characterization, I'd love to see a LOT more of this:
(Reuters) - President Barack Obama on Thursday made clear he was not going to take advice from Republican Sarah Palin when it comes to decisions about the U.S. nuclear arsenal. ... "I really have no response to that. The last I checked, Sarah Palin is not much of an expert on nuclear issues," Obama said in an interview with ABC News. ...
Pressed further on Republican criticism that his strategy restricts the use of nuclear weapons too much, Obama added: "What I would say to them is, is that if the secretary of defense and the chairman of the joint chiefs of staff are comfortable with it, I'm probably going to take my advice from them and not from Sarah Palin."
This is the thing - there's no precedent for someone like Palin, especially in the way she continues to get tons of media exposure, and remains credible as a challenger for the Republican nomination in 2012, remarkable for someone who chose not to finish a single term as Governor of Alaska.
She's famous for essentially not knowing anything. Some people like her for this (which is probably worth a lot more discussion on its own), but nobody should consider what she thinks of a certain issue as being something the President would concern himself with.
Or, for that matter, anyone with a mind of their own. What a nincompoop. And good on the President for calling it like it is.
Sure, it's Thursday ... but it's late Thursday, and god only knows if I'll want to post anything tomorrow. This is from 2009, but it's relatively new to me, and it's pretty dang awesome. Surfer Blood is the name of the band, and they sound sort of like Weezer meets Ultravox meets Built to Spill. (I saw someone compare them to Pavement, but not anything I've heard recalls the boys from Stockton.)
In any case, here's a video of their excellent single, "Swim" - a small warning, it includes a dude running around in tighty whiteys
Swim ... to reach the end...
|The kid is a BEAST.|
That's not the quaint part - that part is that said merchandise couldn't go on sale until the fifth inning, when the game became official, because by rule, a player’s apparel cannot be sold until he’s played in a Major League game. That's cute, isn't it?
In related news, J-Hey is on my fantasy team, and though my brother (who I co-own the team with) gasped when I bid $11 for the guy who had previously done nothing, he's now on board. The kid is a beast, with power, speed and the ability to hit for a solid average as well. Let's just say that I understand the excitement.
As detailed previously (though not really recently) on this blog, we watch a decent amount of TV here at the Reign of Error Palace, and it's only lately that I have realized a few things about the shows I watch.
For instance, Robert Leckie on The Pacific? That's Chase Edmunds from 24.
I didn't figure this out myself, but read it in an online review of The Pacific, which by the way is good and well-made and I'm not sure what's taking so long. (It's a bit slow, but I'm liking it.)
Some other connections it took me too long to make:
Walter Bishop from Fringe? That's the deranged king from Return of the King.
But the one that really got me? It was this one, which really only works for you if you watch The Good Wife:
Glenn Childs, the shady D.A. in The Good Wife is ... The Man In Black from Lost.
I'm not quite sure why that eluded me for so long (besides the Occams Razor solution which is, of course, that I'm an idiot), but it did. Props to Titus Welliver, who plays Childs and The Man In Black - both for two jobs well done, and for having a ridiculously fun name.
Finally, to add in a bit of politics, I was a little alarmed by what sounded like a terrorist airline incident. Then, it appeared to be something else. Finally, it was summed up nicely by Adam Serwer:
Good evening, all..
Yes, I'm "friends" with Eric Karabell, ESPN Fantasy Writer, on Facebook. I don't know him, and he'll probably de-friend me after this, but I found it too ridiculous to not share. This just showed up in my News Feed:
Now, look - these are two Fan Pages, almost assuredly set up by someone besides Mr. Karabell, who by the way is clearly one of the best fantasy sports analysts in the business.
But it definitely looks pretty funny.
This is almost assuredly a case of me finding one thing funny because I am a guy, and another thing not nearly as funny because ... I'm a guy.
First, the funny:
Not bad, Harvard Sailing Team (if that IS your name) ...
And then, the rebuttal:
It's cute, and I appreciate the fantasy sports call out ... but why, in this world, do all guys sound like they're from Brooklyn and wear sleeveless tees? Just wondering.
Dear Boch --
|Start John Bowker. NOW.|
Humbly, I offer you what the Giants depth chart should be on Opening Day, with comments:
Catcher: Bengie Molina -- with Posey ready to spot-start and hopefully take over the job before the end of the year.
First Base: Aubrey Huff
Second Base: Mark DeRosa Yes, we know Freddy Sanchez is a "gamer," but he's also hurt. DeRosa is a better option than Uribe, who can fill in all over the infield.
Shortstop: Edgar Renteria -- but have a short leash.
Third Base: Pablo Sandoval - seriously, this is the only no-brainer on this list. Which is sad.
Left Field: John Bowker. Leading the league in RBIs during spring isn't enough? He provides as much power as anyone else on the club and deserves the shot.
Center Field: Aaron Rowand
Right Field: Nate Schierholz
This is NOT a great offensive ballclub, but in my humble opinion it gives the team the best chance to win this year, when coupled with the dominant pitching staff.
Get Timmy some runs!
RIF! Reading, It's Fundamental.
Recent Books I've Read
Stuff You Will Find Here
- ► 2012 (30)
- ► 2011 (62)
- The Death Of The Dutch Oven
- Market Street ... About 100 Years Ago
- The 49ers: Grading the 2010 Draft
- PowerPoint Makes Us Stupid
- The 49ers: Building A Line, Avoiding The Pickle
- The Magic Of Cinema ... ?
- And We're Back!
- Blogger Templates
- Should You Post That Status Update?
- Everything Is Wrong With Me
- This Photo Needs A Caption
- Jimmy Clausen Terrifies Me
- The Greatest Photo You'll See All Day
- Hamm and Bubbly
- It's Official: Steroids Don't Help Performance
- The Dilbert Blog
- This Is The Guy I Voted For
- Friday Tunage: Surfer Blood "Swim"
- Bits and Pieces
- Eric Karabell and The Oddness of Facebook
- Besties With Testes
- Play Ball! It's Opening Day.
- An Open Letter To Bruce Bochy
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