For Your Viewing Pleasure

This Is Not A Good Thing

I drove to work behind someone with a bumper sticker similar to this one:

Let me very clear -- from a sentiment perspective, couldn't agree with this more - I DO love my wife, and if more people in the world were like her, the world would be an infinitely better place.

But there's really only a few reasons you put something like this on your car:

1. You screwed up REALLY badly.
2. Your wife expects you to screw up REALLY badly
3. You are planning to screw up REALLY badly
4. Your wife put it there (perhaps because of #2) and would be crushed if you removed it.
5. Your friends put it there to mock you for being whipped.

There's probably more reasons, but I honestly can't think of a good one here. As Chris Rock once said about other things, "You shouldn't brag about things you're supposed to do!" (Of course, he also starred in a movie called, "I Think I Love My Wife," then allegedly cheated on her, if memory serves, pretty much making his own point.)

In any case, my point here is ... YIKES. If you have one of these on your car, you need to check yourself, my friend.

Poll Reminder

I'm debating what to call my fantasy football team. Every year, it's a combination of a random player's name and some pop culture reference. The top three choices are in the poll in the upper right corner of this blog.
 

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

The DMV Can Unite Us All!

As a liberal progressive, I know I'm not supposed to say anything bad about the government or institutions that rely on public funding. Except, of course, that I'm actually not as far left as my right-leaning friends would believe, and also as a progressive, I don't stick to rigid message discipline like those on the right do.

All that being said, I'd still make an exception to rail against the DMV (and have done so quite often, in fact). It's "organized" by seemingly random choice and seems designed to leave its customers (who, after all, are paying the bill) frustrated, sad and helpless.

I recently went to my local DMV - one that people come to from other parts of the Bay Area because their local offices are even worse, which is terrifying - and pounded my head due to the ineptness.

But frankly, as seemingly is always the case, someone else has said it better.

The DMV is the perfect place to demonstrate the incompetence of many public services, and to instill completely justifiable rage on the part of taxpayers. Almost every single person interacts with it each year, and therefore almost every single person is treated like garbage rather than what they are: The owner and employer of the DMV.

In a post called "How the DMV Undermines Democracy," Keith Humphreys just nails it. More here:

A child next to me sobbed into his mother’s lap. A woman of about 30 said under her breath to her partner “I can’t take this anymore, I can’t. Let’s just go!”.

We then drove around to get our car “verified”. We sat and waited. And waited. There were no staff and no explanation of what to do. Neither was there a sign to say how long the wait would be. After 20 minutes a man came out and waved us and a few other cars forward so that we were packed tightly together. He then walked away without explanation. At this point no one said anything. The people in the cars and their passengers and the people who were sitting on the sidewalk waiting just stayed silent, like whipped dogs in a learned helplessness experiment.  ...

If there are any ambitious Secretaries of State out there who want to be governor, start at the DMV. Start by doing a walkthrough and seeing how the citizenry is treated. Adapt the system to the customer and not the other way around. I really think you could win an election by just saying over and over “I am the one who made your DMV treat you like a human being”.

Yep, I think that's true - and yet, this is only going to get worse because of the preposterous way our actual elected officials have stripped state funding from things like this and refuse to even talk about taxes that might help make this better. Most of them now have the DMV closed every other Friday for "furloughs," which is fancy talk for not being able to pay their staff five days a week.

Good times, America!

Weekend Fun With Walken

I thought everyone had seen this, but I've mentioned it to a few folks who haven't -- so, here is (wait for it) Christopher Walken doing a reading of Lady Gaga's Poker Face:



Yes, it's not quite as funny as it should be, but still enjoyable. Happy Saturday.

Can You Describe This Better?

You may or may not watch Project Runway, and you may have your own opinions about reality TV in general, but I think everyone can agree that this is an awesome review:

"A.J. had created only one garment, and he contributed it to a look that I’m at a loss to describe. It was something like: a horseback-riding airline stewardess wearing a business shirt from the NBA center she slept with last night." 

Thanks to The AV Club, as usual, for the review.

Here is the garment in question and ... I honestly am not sure I can come up with a single better description of it.

Perhaps this is because I know nothing about fashion (apparently, this is something called a "dress-shirt," which seems to me a very convenient way of saying "oversized shirt that's as big as a dress") but what do I know?

On the other hand, this isn't a "Grandpop sweater" either, which also made an appearance on the show this week.

I really don't understand fashion. But, if you can come up with a better description of the above, please leave it in the comments!

Happy Friday!

This from GIF Party, by way of Sasha-Frere Jones:

If this doesn't quite make sense to you, you should either catch up on or start watching Mad Men.

Friday Tunage: Cee-Lo's Fuck You

Yeah I'm sorry I can't afford a Ferrari
But that don't mean I can't get you there
I guess he's an X-Box and I'm more Atari
But the way you play your game ain't fair

Yep, that's about the only line I can quote without using the F-bomb (though I put it in the title since it's showing right below on the embedded video), but given the language, this is still probably the most up-beat, awesome song I've heard in recent weeks.

Cee-Lo Green, of Gnarls Barkley among other places, is just rocking the awesome here.

Note that the language and video are NSFW for liberal use of the "F-word"... but then, you probably knew that already.

Enjoy.

TV Roundup: Survivor, #6

We're back at the TV Roundup, a countdown of my top 21 favorite TV shows of all time. It's a considerable, silly and self-serving task, and one made more difficult by the fact that my modem has chosen this week as the week to start committing a slow, intermittent suicide. (Good times! And if you have an awesome brand new wireless modem you want to give me, I won't complain.)

So far, our list looks like this:

21. Kids In The Hall
20. Taxi
19. How I Met Your Mother
18. Dexter
17. The Simpsons
16. The Daily Show
15. Mad Men
14. Arrested Development
13. 24
12. The Office (UK & US)
11. Lost
10. Cheers
9. Six Feet Under
8. The West Wing
7. Friday Night Lights

When I posted about Friday Night Lights, I noted that it was the last show on my list that was still on the air -- a fact that isn't only wrong, it's wrong about the very next show on the list.

The title of the post gives it away, but it's worth noting why the next show on my list has earned its spot:

• It defined a new genre -- albeit one erroneously named "reality TV" instead of the more accurate "unscripted television" and is still running 20 seasons later. (Note: This has covered ten calendar years, but 20 seasons is 20 seasons, yo.)
• In the sixth season, I left the country for a few weeks - and when I returned, I discovered that my VCR had failed to record this show. The same day I realized this, I went and bought a DVR and have never looked back. Sure, technology would have caught up with me anyway, but it would have been a much slower burn.
• I still have email conversations with friends about the show -- there simply isn't any other show, even the ones atop the list, that I can say that about. 

The show is, of course, Survivor, and it's my sixth favorite show of all-time. Worth playing for? Click below to see more.

Free Diet Tip!

I say this mostly joking but not entirely...

Keep a small bottle of Patchouili Oil on your desk, and before you reach for that cruller or Milky Way, take a long sniff of it. (Note - it can be any brand, this was just the first one I found).

Going to college in Santa Cruz may have been the tipping point for me, but I honestly have never understood why people would voluntarily put this on their bodies. To me, it smells like week old deli onions. On my way to pick up some lunch today, I walked by someone wearing it...I literally had to catch my breath, and it took me about an hour to really dive into my otherwise delicious spinach salad.

Patton Oswalt most famously described patchouli oil the following way:

It smells like dirt that's been f*cked by a hobo.

Note: Patton did not edit himself, but this is a family blog or at least one that pretends to be.

To Patton and others, I can only say ... after I got my lunch, I passed a homeless man and he smelled way, way better than the dude in the patchouli oil.

TV Roundup: Friday Night Lights, #7

It's time to re-enter the chamber of horrors that has become the TV Roundup. What's that, you ask? It's a countdown of my top-21 favorite television shows of all-time.

It's a daunting task, and one I am still not sure I should have undertaken. But hey, screw the sunk cost fallacy - I'm in! Here's the list thus far:

21. Kids In The Hall
20. Taxi
19. How I Met Your Mother
18. Dexter
17. The Simpsons
16. The Daily Show
15. Mad Men
14. Arrested Development
13. 24
12. The Office (UK & US)
11. Lost
10. Cheers
9. Six Feet Under
8. The West Wing

Of the fourteen shows listed above, only four of them are still on-air (and one suspects/hopes that The Office (US) is in its last season or so). The next choice is also on air, but about to begin its final season - and it's the last show on this list that still has unaired episodes to show.

The show is Friday Night Lights, and even before its fifth season it's my eighth favorite show of all-time.

Oh, Happy Day!

It's nice when bad things happen to bad people:

Clemens to Be Indicted for Perjury in Doping Testimony

Do steroids cause a loss of a neck? Or just a lot of pizza?

Federal authorities have decided to indict Roger Clemens on charges of making false statements to Congress about his use of performance-enhancing drugs, according to two people briefed on the matter. [/snip]

The indictment comes nearly two and half years after Clemens and his former trainer Brian McNamee testified under oath at a hearing before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, directly contradicting each other about whether Clemens had used the banned substances. 

Hey, guess what? Barry Bonds isn't the worst person in baseball! In fact, a white pitcher from Texas seems to have done largely the same things, and is still worthy going to the Hall of Fame...! Folks who repeatedly want to make Bonds the picture of steroids continue to have more obstacles placed in their way.


More fun with Clemens:

I hate you Roger Clemens, by Seth Stevenson

Is Clemens the AntiChrist? by Bill Simmons

This picture:

Go gently into that good night, douchenozzle.

TV Roundup: The West Wing, #8

It's time for another installment of the TV Roundup, an exhaustive, self-indulgent "analysis" of my 21 favorite TV shows of all-time. The latest was for my ninth favorite show, Six Feet Under, and I would definitely love to watch that entire series over again from start to finish.

Before I get into my eighth pick - a show who I've seen the best seasons at least three times - let's review the entire list thus far:

21. Kids In The Hall
20. Taxi
19. How I Met Your Mother
18. Dexter
17. The Simpsons
16. The Daily Show
15. Mad Men
14. Arrested Development
13. 24
12. The Office (UK & US)
11. Lost
10. Cheers
9. Six Feet Under

The next show in my TV Roundup is one I admit isn't for everybody, certainly not the folks on the far right of the political aisle. It also features some of the very best writing and acting in any television show I've ever seen.

I'm talking, of course, about The West Wing.

RIP, Bobby Thomson

I should have done this yesterday, but RIP Giants Bobby Thomson, who hit the pennant-winning "Shot Heard Round The World," to beat the Dodgers in 1951.  which led to what many consider the best moment in the history of baseball.

I agree with that sentiment, because even though this moment happened more than 17 years before I was even born, watching and listening to it gives me chills (and yes, often it gets a little dusty here in the Reign of Error Mansion.)

People might argue that Kirk Gibson's shot off Dennis Eckersley is better but that only won a single World Series game (though, one could and should argue that it changed the tone of the entire series). Joe Carter hit the only HR to win a World Series, but that moment has almost zero lasting value for anyone outside of Toronto or Philadelphia. To me, it's a no-brainer - watch and listen:




Russ Hodges calls it, brilliantly. A bit of trivia -doing the TV broadcast was Ernie Harwell, while for the Dodgers Vin Scully - yes, Vin Scully! - was in his first year behind Red Barber. That's four future Hall of Famers which of course only adds to the moment.

Here's the transcript of the call:

Bobby Thomson... up there swingin'... He's had two out of three, a single and a double, and Billy Cox is playing him right on the third-base line... One out, last of the ninth... Branca pitches... Bobby Thomson takes a strike called on the inside corner... Bobby hitting at .292... He's had a single and a double and he drove in the Giants' first run with a long fly to center... Brooklyn leads it 4-2...Hartung down the line at third not taking any chances... Lockman with not too big of a lead at second, but he'll be runnin' like the wind if Thomson hits one... Branca throws... [audible sound of bat meeting ball]


There's a long drive... it's gonna be, I believe...THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT!! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! Bobby Thomson hits into the lower deck of the left-field stands! The Giants win the pennant and they're goin' crazy, they're goin' crazy! HEEEY-OH!!!''

I don't believe it! I don't believe it! I do not believe it! Bobby Thomson... hit a line drive... into the lower deck... of the left-field stands... and this blame place is goin' crazy! The Giants! Horace Stoneham has got a winner! The Giants won it... by a score of 5 to 4... and they're pickin' Bobby Thomson up... and carryin' him off the field!

Seriously, reading it just gives me the chills. In related news, I LOVE SPORTS.

And here's a longer, awesome riff on the whole thing, from one of my favorite (spoiler alert!) TV shows of all time, Sports Night:




Rest in peace, Bobby Thomson. Thanks for the memory.

TV Roundup: Six Feet Under, #9

We're back - after a brief hiatus - at the TV Roundup, my personal countdown of my top 21 favorite shows of all-time.

So far, the list looks like this:

The Big Marine!

21. Kids In The Hall
20. Taxi
19. How I Met Your Mother
18. Dexter
17. The Simpsons
16. The Daily Show
15. Mad Men
14. Arrested Development
13. 24
12. The Office (UK & US)
11. Lost
10. Cheers

I must say, I'm quite happy with the list so far, and by definition it only gets better from here. My 9th favorite show of all-time is incredibly unique, and helped launch the careers of several great actors. It is both deeply moving, haunting and hilarious and rightfully belongs inside my top ten.

That show, of course, is Six Feet Under.

If you watched the show, you know what I'm talking about - and if you haven't, you need to - now. As with all of my writeups, I'll try to be relatively spoiler-free, but I make no promises.

Burning Poll Question

I'm debating what to call my fantasy football team. Every year, it's a combination of a random player's name and some pop culture reference. The top three choices are in the poll in the upper right corner of this blog.  

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

Fake Issue of the Week

I don't know! (Anything.)

One thing the Republican party is incredibly good at - one of the few things, it seems - is getting the media to go along with stirring up fake, petty issues that distract from the real things going on. The latest is the supposed furor over the Muslim center that is planned to be built near the 9/11 Ground Zero locations.

As Steve Benen notes, many conservatives insist that this "has nothing to do with religious freedom." In fact, a friend of mine on Facebook said exactly those words today in his status update.

But, it seems like that's a pretty implausible line of 'thinking' and Benen nails exactly why:

If Feisal Abdul Rauf wanted to build a coffee shop at Park51 in lower Manhattan, two blocks from Ground Zero, would anyone even think to care? Would it be the subject of an intense national debate? Would conspicuously unintelligent demagogues refer to it as the "9/11 coffee shop" and/or the "Ground Zero coffee shop"? Would there be an expectation that mainstream Muslim Americans "refudiate" the coffee shop out of sensitivity to the victims of 9/11?

These need not be rhetorical questions, and this isn't intended as some kind of joke.

What if Rauf wanted an up-scale clothing store? Or a Barnes & Noble? Or a place for consumer electronics? Or a nightclub? Would it be the "9/11 nightclub" and/or the "Ground Zero nightclub"?

...

For those who want to maintain the pretense that this isn't about religious liberty or discriminating against a minority faith, it's time for at least a shred of intellectual honesty. If the Cordoba House were to include a restaurant, a performing arts center, and a swimming pool -- without a place for worship -- would conservatives be so hysterical?

If the answer is "yes," they'd be every bit as incensed, then it's time to acknowledge that those who are whining incessantly about the community center would have to be just as outraged by the notion of Feisal Abdul Rauf's coffee shop. These are folks who, by all appearances, wouldn't want a Muslim American neighbor building anything in lower Manhattan, which is crazy, illegal, and at odds with how we do things in the United States.

If the answer is "no," they wouldn't be every bit as hysterical, and the inclusion of a place for prayer is what serves as a deal-breaker, then it's time to acknowledge that this has everything to do with religious liberty, and a desire to deny First Amendment protections to faith groups the right holds in contempt.

Either way, there's no excuse for such ugly nonsense.

If you have been nodding your head to this nonsense issue ... it might be time to ask yourself why.

TV Roundup: Cheers, #10

Well, here we are -- the top ten. Yes, we're back at the regrettably named TV Roundup, my personal list of my Top 21 TV Shows of all-time.

The list thus far:

21. Kids In The Hall
20. Taxi
19. How I Met Your Mother
18. Dexter
17. The Simpsons
16. The Daily Show
15. Mad Men
14. Arrested Development
13. 24
12. The Office (UK & US)
11. Lost

Frankly, the above eleven choices were tougher than the ones to follow -- they are, after all, my ten favorite shows of all-time. And coming in at #10, it's a show that I watched religiously from middle school through college -- it is, of course, Cheers, where everybody knows your name.

The show had many incarnations, but it's really divided into two halves -- the Diane Chambers (Shelley Long)  years and the Rebecca Howell (Kirstie Alley) years. By far, the first was the best - but the show maintained it's spirit and humor with Alley, and had plenty of great episodes. Plus, it's sort of funny to look back and realize there was a time when Shelley Long and Kirstie Alley were both convincing objects of desire.

The Brothers Karamazov

Make sure your copy has this cover.

I've mentioned in a few previous posts that I've been reading The Brothers Karamazov. It's true -- and I've been doing so since the beginning of this year. Yes, I decided to read a 776-page Russian novel. As the father of a two year old.

What possessed me to do this? In addition to the fact that it's always been on that list - the list of books I know I should have read but haven't -- I bought myself a copy of The Top Ten, a book that asked 200 writers for their own personal top ten, then aggregated the answers to get an overall top ten. I consider myself a pretty well-read person, and I realized that I'd only read one of these books (The Great Gatsby, should you care).

So, I scooped up three of them: Karamazov, Anna Karenina and War and Peace. Then, I asked folks - specifically, my Facebook friends - which one I should read. Overwhelmingly, the choice was The Brothers Karamazov. So I leapt in ... and, at long last, my journey is done. It took me only about seven months. Sigh.

I absolutely understand why so many people love this novel -- indeed, it's pretty much everything one could expect from a piece of fiction. It's important to note that I chose the image above and linked to the specific edition of the novel; I first bought a separate, older translation and that alone slowed me down from the start. This one, translated by Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, won awards for translation and is considered the most faithful translation of the original Russian text.

Pat Burrell, You Magnificent Bastard

My favorite part of this awesome Giants moment, aside from crushing the Dodgers spirit and the BEAT LA! chant that ends it --- is Aubrey Huff's reaction in the dugout.



Huff is so pumped up by Pat Burrell's HR -- that's the kind of chemistry you need on a winning ball club.

Should be a fun ride the rest of the way, kids.